i feel like everything is happening again.. Its not that im blaming anyone especially myself, i mean, im here and its my choice.. I really never had mastered this balancing act, there are always situations where my feelings has gotten the better of me, and also as often as that, there times when i feel, i should have done more, that i regret that i could have done something better instead.. And ive always known that this balancing act has never been my friend, it has given me alot of sleepless nights thinking what she was thinking.. And its draining.. It takes up alot of everything in me.. But then again, when the balancing act works in some way, everything seems fine, everything is just worth every once of energy lost.. And that is just worth the wait.. Im waiting, its not that im wasting my time and effort, there is just nothing else that i could imagine myself doing.. Pros and cons listed, everything is done with full consent and awareness of the consequences.. And also, just like a lifetime ago, all odds stacked against me.. And just like always, i face it everyday.. I just hope, that i wont give up this time and accept my fate, though i never regret giving up last time, its just not in my nature to give up.. I know everything would be better when i learn to accept things, but isnt that just accepting mediocrity? Cant you do more to achive more? Cant you fight until you've got nothing to fight for? Cant i be happy just for a momment?
scream
Artist:Hilera
Song:Nothing NewI never wanted to write
Something like this in a million years
But I'm here and I'll say it
ANd mean every word
And say that I
I Feel numb
I feel weird
I feel like someone's goin to get me
When I'm alone
It's typical I know but I
I feel dumb
I can't feel
Like another gum under your desk
I whine too much I know
It's typical I freakin know
I never wanted to care
About this and everything
But it's here and I'll say it
I'll play every note
And say that I
xp
