• A/N: this is a fanfiction writin in journal format, this is all internal and will more than likely have repeated gramaticle mistakes.

    Forgiveness....such a funny concept, really. You lie to me, and I say its ok. you steal from me, and, in return for a few pretty words, I forgive everything you've done. Heh, those old monks at the temple always did like the whole "forgiveness is the path" type of thing. Even Mama would saythings like forgive and forget, "don't let that little temper of your's get the best of you, little one." I wonder if I would forgive them if she was here, instead of rotting in some cemetary....

    But I do need to calm done for now, or else Nagato- NEE -san might be oh so disapointed in my behavor. Hmm, bet He wants me training right now, or maybe let His precious and perfect little angel play dress-up, and we'll have so much fun...I HATE Him, I hate all of them, each and every last on of them! ...well, that is except Itai-nee. I don't hate him, he's the only one I like, even if I do have to act as if I respect all of them.

    ...Gods, how I wish i could leave this forsaken prison of a life, but He keeps such a close eye on me, I doubt I could make it very far if I tryed anything. Better make sure that I try something when someone else is watching...but who? It would be to suspicious if I did anything while Itai-nee was watching, so who then? .....Dei-Baka!...no, He'd be watching, or at least have someone else watching if that happened, but maybe if Sasouri was helping. That just might work, but when am I gonna get a chance like that? Especially after that stunt last week, I doubt I'd be Allowed far from the compound even under supervision. And who knows when I'll earn any freedom back....

    Erg! This is pointless! the only reason He's even keeping me around is to train his perfect little weapond, and of course make sure i pay for Mama's "betrayal".

    How many years has it been now? 3? maybe 4?...but I have to be closer to Itai's age when he left, right? so more like 7 years now. ...who knows, or at least who knows that is willing or able to tell me? thats the point of the room, right? Heh, keep a day to sleep and wake. Sunlight really is a pleasure anymore...wonderr if I'm calm enough to go out there yet, doubt it though. That old Devi..I mean Jashin worshiper probly has something cooked up to through me into anouther "episode". He really does kno just what nerves to hit to make all my....Rage come bubbling out. Then Itai-nee would have to deal with me...I should just stay in here today, maybe go to sleep for the "night". Huh, I think it's night at least. Or I could ask that stupid and cheap Dobei for some food, wouldn't want to starve would I? Heh, of course I would, but He would never let His "precious little neice" die from something stupid like starvation.

    but what about that dev..I mean Jashin worshiping idiot? I bet i could egg him into ending this ....but again theres that stupid little issue of Him stopping it... Teh, I should just go to sleep...at least the bed in here ain't so bad, almost comfortable really. Gods, how I wish it was the Eternal Sleep...