• There once was a little pickle.
    He was a sad little pickle, for he lived all alone in the pickle juice.
    Every time the refrigerator door opened, he would get all happy,
    but they would go for the relish
    or the head of lettuce.
    Until one day, a young girl opened the door.
    Her hair was so silky and wavy that the Nile River was jealous.
    But, the Nile-River-hair girl's hands were wet, and she dropped the pickle jar.
    As the pickle fell, he rubbed against a magic genie lamp, and he got three wishes.
    The girl wished he was a snowman made of toilet paper rolls that lived in her neighborhood.
    The little kids would wave to him, and he waved back.
    The kids ran away 'cuz it's kinda creepy when a snowman made of toilet paper tubes waves back at you.
    Then the Nile-River-Hair-Girl ran up a hill to get her bike, then she rolled down the hill on her bike. She ran into the snowman on her bike, sending him down the hill. Then, she melted him with a flamethrower, and cried on his ashes.
    His last thought was "I wish I was a pickle."