• “I still don’t see how you can eat that,” Lenny said to his friend, gesturing to his hamburger, “you’re killing animals!”

    “Like you aren’t,” Bruce scoffed.

    “What is that supposed to mean,” Lenny asked annoyed, before popping a soy cube into his mouth.

    “Well, for one, you’re stealing their food, therefore some of them out there might being dying of starvation, and two, I am saving the animals by saving the planet from further Global Warming,” he said matter-of-factly.

    “What! What does eating hamburgers have to do with global warming!” Lenny exclaimed, not understanding what his friend was talking about.

    “Oh, it’s quite simple really, see, when cows fart they release gases into the atmosphere that penetrates the ozone, damaging it, and causing the harmful greenhouse gases to get in that are global warming. Therefore, by eating them, I am doing my part to keep them from damaging the ozone so much.” Bruce explained around a bite of his hamburger.

    Lenny looked at him skeptically. “Where in the world did you get that from?”

    “Just...somewhere, but believe me, it’s a good source, they were right about the cannibals that ate people with four-pronged forks,” he answered, nodding, while finishing his hamburger.

    “And are you going to tell me where this ‘good source’ is?”

    “Uh...well, I forgot... exactly where I read it from,” Bruse replied nervously, putting an emphasis on the word exactly. “But, I have to like go continue saving the world,” he stood up and started to walk away.

    “You’re not saving the...”

    Bruce was out of earshot before Lenny could finish his sentence, going to order himself another hamburger.

    The End