Police label anyone attacking shilohoneechan as a Code 45-11.... a suicide
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that shilohoneechan's PC will crash.
shilohoneechan proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before her first space expedition.
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and shilohoneechan.
shilohoneechan doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
182,000 Americans die from shilohoneechan-related accidents every year.
Google won't search for shilohoneechan because it knows you don't find shilohoneechan, she finds you.
The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for shilohoneechan
Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "shilohoneechan's basement".
When shilohoneechan was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap shilohoneechan.
shilohoneechan once shot down a German fighter plane with her finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with shilohoneechan. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
shilohoneechan has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. She won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered shilohoneechan"
The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when shilohoneechan goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
shilohoneechan was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. She declined because, "Only a p***y would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Lala-onee out. It failed miserably
In Desert Storm the reason why the Iraqi army surrendered so quickly was because they knew Lala-onee was coming.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a thing, and vanquish evil from the land. That thing is not lala-onee, because lala-onee killed that thing.
lala-onee's first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
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