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~*Sorry
I understand that people can get some what pissed off when someone is always depressed and freak'in unhappy all the time. It ruins your mood on a bright sunny day, and it changes your friend dramatically. I understand, completely. I've been pissed off at Deon for not being happy, it's almost like that 'Cheer up emo kid,' crap. But really, you can't tell someone that and it's going to take a while for that person to start thinking.
I'm not mad at you Jessica, you had the right to smack me right across the face, i'm so sorry that I ruined your very great day. It was a good day as well, today is and yesterday was. But seriously, you don't even need to read it.
Know one has to read the depressing entries, if you know if it's all depressing just go ahead and skip it. I don't write in my journal just for an everyday, 'Oh this is what i did today, i bought these, so funny,' things. My journal is actually to let out my emotions, to let out whats in my head. Like let's say i'm thinking about my mom, something that saddened me i go to my journal and write all about it and get it out of my system. Why do you read the sad things people? I can understand that you want to know what's going on in my life, if i'm doing OK, you want to help. But what's happening to me, it's also affecting you and i can't let that happen. If you know a journal entry is going down hill, don't even read it. Unless you understand that it won't hurt you, make you pissed off you can go ahead and continue.
Telling me to cheer up, once i just got rid of the problem is nothing. Saying you're mad because of this, won't change it at all. People won't change that quick.
'I won't change for anybody.'
Someone told me. Push and push, it's meaningless. Sorry. Sorry. For ruining a great day, but i wanted to let it out of my system.
I guess i get into other peoples problems because i think i can fix them, when really, i can't. So i get all into it, and write it all out so i can be happy again. It's not making you guys happy. Like an ending in a book. I want to totally change the ending for Twilight, but we really can't. What's decided been decided.
Atleast when i meet everyone in person, i'm happy, i don't start crying. I remain cool, in till i start thinking and write it all out. As a kid there's all this drama crap, but when you get older you mature and really let this all behind you. What i'm saying is i'm sorry, and that you don't even need to read depressing crap. Unless, you want to, but if it ruins anybody's day i guess not. . .
But i'm going to continue letting my feelings out. Just letting everything out and so i'll feel better again. Telling me to cheer up is a head start, but it won't get me to the finish line completely. I have to run there myself.
How does a girl with so much emotion and probelms bear it all? She writes and hopes for the best of it.
Get it?
 NinteyDegrees_South · Sat Sep 06, 2008 @ 09:06pm · 3 Comments |
