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~*Chapter eleven

I was woken up by father, the sun was barely rising and his face showed worry. “I’m up I’m up! OK dad, what the hell is going on?” I stretched my toes and rubbed my eyes. His hand held an envelope to my face.
“Here.” My dad said. I pulled my eyebrows together.
“Please dad, really?” my voice was a faint whisper.
“I know, I know! It’s just I got it now from Cloud, I’m curious. But I don’t want to be so nosey.” I took the envelope from his hand and shooed him away. He walked out the door, glancing at me with worry eyes. I sat in a chair resting the envelope on my desk untouched. I stared it preparing whatever it might have. The morning sun shined on the envelope and I read the name, Annie. My name was handwritten, neatly. I bit my lip.
“Rodney.” I gasped. Suddenly I grabbed the envelope and ripped it open. It was a letter to me, and I was just thinking how this was possible. It just was, Rodney was everywhere.
Dear annie,
Hey, it’s me Rodney I’m writing this letter to you hoping you might get this from my parents or something. Today I saw you a bit troubled I guess, and I feel like I’m the cause of this. Really, I do. I’m sorry for getting you pregnant usually the man should be seriously thinking about the sex thing, but I don’t know. I love you ann. A whole lot, more than anything in the world. You know that. Getting to the point, I’m thinking of getting away for a while. I don’t think you’re up to the task, when I told you about running away with me your face was all worried. I want you to be happy babe. I want you to be you, that’s who I fell in love with. I’m going to find a job a good job, and start working hard if you’re planning to keep the baby. don’t get pissed off babe, I promise, this isn’t a dangerous mission but I’m giving you space. I’ll be back to ask your hand in marriage.
<laughs>
Love you babe, see you soon.
Your man,
Rodney
p.s. I was serious about the marriage thing.

Wholly s**t. Ask my hand in marriage? Marriage? My mind drifted on the happy word of marriage then I stumbled to a stop. Rodney is dead. I just forgot, he’s dead. For a second there I actually thought he was coming back, just like he said.
‘I’ll be back. . . ‘
My lip quivered and I screamed out loud. The door slammed open behind me.
“What happened Annie!?” my dad shouted. I turned around and ran to hug him. I cried again, just when I thought I finally stopped. “Annie, what is it?” I handed him the letter that was now crumbled. He grabbed the letter from my hand and read it, still holding me.
“Daddy, he said he’ll be back. He’s not coming back is he!” I yelled at him, burying my face, his cotton shirt absorbing my tears.
“Marriage.” My dad whispered. My dad hugged my tighter. “Annie, I’m so sorry, so very sorry. Cloud told me when they were going through his stuff they found this on his desk. Annie please stop crying.” My dad pushed my gently away looking at my wet face. “It’s done. We move on with our lives.”
“He was my life. He made me happy.” I blurted. My dad frowned. “You’ll never understand, no one ever will.” I push the tears away and walked to my hiking gear.
“Where are you going?” my dad asked me.
“Out.” I said instantly. I walked out with my gear, still wearing my pajamas.

~*~

I grabbed my dad’s car keys and stormed out of the house. Got in the car, started the engine and pushed the pedal hard and drove to my destination. My mind was flustered, my eyes were burning, I was sick of it. Complete bullshit, utter bullshit. I was sick of being sad, and I was sick of mostly anything. Of course I missed Rodney, I missed him so much, but bringing that envelope up to me now, when I finally just recovered?! It pissed me off, but then again it was a boost, I was more motivated than ever to climb this rock, I’m doing this for myself but also for Rodney. Like my dream last night, I would be just one-step closer to heaven, touching Rodney’s fingertips reaching and grabbing.
I turned off road, a bumpy ride it was, then I pounded the break and looked at my left. “Ah.” I said satisfied. There it was that damn rock that gave me goose bumps. I’m going to conquer it. I stepped out of the car with my gear, as I was close enough I began to get ready. Put on my gear and mentally prepared myself. I got close to the rock, and dug my fingers in between a crack. I exhaled, and then inhaled through my nostrils. The air was sticky, humid and hot, the sun was rising higher and higher. I was positive, I was prepared. I pulled myself upwards, and climbed my way up. I didn’t even double-check if my gear was on right.

~*~

I was hot outside, I was sweating and my baggy pajama’s were letting cool air breeze though, but it wasn’t the best thing to wear when you’re climbing. I let one hand hold on for dear life, while the other pulled up my sweats. I swung my arm and grabbed a rock, one-by-one, the top was so close. I smiled. This was my moment, one thing to be happy about, and one thing to remember.
Rodney.
I stopped. Shut up, just shut up. Don’t think about him, why are you thinking about him?
‘Ask your hand in marriage.’
Yes. I would instantly say yes, even when we’re young, it’s always yes. I wanted to be with him forever, and always, I wanted his arms wrapped around my waste. My perfect waste he would say, and then kiss my lips. I missed that, I missed his scent, his everything. I missed him. My tears would not fall, but my lips quivered. I lost concentration, complete concentration. My foot slipped and I tried to grab myself again but I slipped off the age.
“NO!” I yelled. As I was falling on my back, my eyes remained shut I stayed calm. The rope will stop—
Snap.
My eyes instantly shot open, I raised my arms towards the sky. The humid air blew through my fingertips, my hair pulled upwards. I was flying, I felt everything. I felt at peace. “Rodney.” I whispered.
‘Together forever babe.’ Rodney sweetly whispered in my head.
I smiled and felt tears float up to the sky like rain. “I love you.”
‘I love you to, so much, see you soon.’ Rodney calmly said.
Before I hit the surface, I floated to heaven.