~*Throw up.
When i'm excited i get this sick feeling inside of my stomach. It likes a tummy ache, but its a pressure rising. No. I'm not trying to make myself throw up, but when i have the worst tummy aches i do feel like i want to throw up. This feeling usually means i'm scared, excited or just. . . i dunno. . . amused by anything. i get this feeling when i'm eager to do something fun with my friends, or when I see Tanner. When he says something interesting. But mostly i'm nervous or excited. Swim meets, seeing a friend that i haven't seen in like forever. Yea, for some reason i'm having this feeling right now. I got a text from Tanner saying he had a dream about my parents and stuff. 'It was your b-day but for some reason you weren't there. Then your mom asked me: 'Do you like my daughter?' My stomach made that feeling again. I hate that feeling. . . maybe it was how i was thinking about it, but it's naturally happening to me. It- it sucks to have this feeling. It makes me sick, it makes me not want to eat. It leaves me sick, and lifless. I want to throw it up. Just let it happen already. It makes me so uncomfortable. So i looked at sammi and asked where was he going. He was trying to tell me something. Hrms. So do you? I texted back. 'I don't know.' Useless. He wanted me to tell him i liked him. Maybe it's to early to answer, huh? I'm going to wait. I don't want to tell him i like him by phone. Unless he asked me. Not just by random. If he asked me that question. yes I'm going to tell him the truth. Now typing this all my stomach is churning an telling me to stop thinking about this. I really can't. Stupid stomach. I guess Tanner really couldn't confess to me but just give me little tiny hints. Tanner probably never told a girl he liked them. The girl did. Just what he was hoping for. He sent a picture of himself to me. His new haircut. Yet my stomach churned. Will i still like him? Of course. It was his personality that made me like him so much. When I got it. We both laughed. Sammi said she didn't like that new hairstyle on him. i still liked it. It made him look like a normal boy. Not much of a girl, hrms? Then he askes whitch looked better? Whitch one did i like better? I couldn't give him an answer. So i said long hair. It made him so cocky, how he flipped it. How 'speacial' he felt with it. I said it fit who he was. He quickly agreed. He was needing my advice and also needing me. He asked if me and sammi wanted to hang out. I would love to see him. sammi being there with me would make it easier for me to hang out with him. ah. My stomach is feeling a bit better. I haven't texted him back. I should stop. He might text on my phone. Just to make sure i'm not 'ignoring' him. Tanner. Say it. Say it to me. Secret. Tell me that you like me already. Maybe if you did, this odd feeling in my stomach might go away. Because it's painful. Uncomfortable. Hard to bear. Its. Just. So. Painful. So painful i just might throw up.
NinteyDegrees_South · Sat Jul 12, 2008 @ 04:35am · 2 Comments |