• Hello. This is Truand High School. Of course, you already know that. You did enroll here after all. It is a very large school, with many hallways and a spacious courtyard where various young men and women consort, conspire, mingle, and occasionally fraternize. The hallways are labeled with numbers, beginning with the "Zero-Hundred" Hall, which is just silly, isn't it? Then it skips the One Hundred Hall, proceeding to the Two Hundred Hall and so on. On the opposite side of the courtyard is the Five Hundred Hall. Last year a young man stabbed a fellow student in that hallway. Everyone was quite upset, as the massive amount of blood in the hall impeded their usual routes through the school.
    Over by the cafeteria, you can see Danae Samson. Danae Samson recently gave birth to a little girl. The child was given to an adoptive family promptly after birth. Everyone looks at Danae disapprovingly, as is warranted by teenage pregnancy. She cries sometimes. At home and in the school restrooms between classes. Speaking of the restrooms, I should mention that only the downstairs restrooms are functioning. There is a pair of restrooms in the administration building that students are strictly forbidden to use. The four remaining ones are located between the Zero and Two Hundred Halls, between the Two and Three Hundred Halls, between the Five and Six Hundred Halls, and between the Six and Seven Hundred Halls. If you find it absolutely necessary to relieve yourself during the course of your school day, use either the restroom between the Two and Three Hundred Halls, or the one between the Six and Seven Hundred Halls. The other two have been subject to intense vandalism and other unsavory things, resulting in the walls and facilities being covered in phallic depictions, vulgar language, and the occasional bodily fluid.
    If you'll follow me to the auditorium, you can see Cassandra Dollins. She is well liked. She has an abundance of friends that follow her primarily to be included in whatever party she is going to. Cassandra Dollins is filled with school spirit and very active in all school events. She attends every fundraiser, sporting event, and band concert. Cassandra Dollins also frequently stars in Truand's drama productions. See how pretty she is? That's because she starves herself. That and her drug use have caused her grades to fall drastically in the last few years. She has quite a lot of friends though. Friends are important to have.
    Some people don't have many friends. Jennifer Rockwell, for instance. She is disliked by nearly everyone. It isn't that she is malicious or unintelligent. In fact, she is very kindhearted, but desperately seeks approval from all sources. Jennifer is very loud. Her step father spends most of his time drinking and yelling at her, and her mother's career has estranged her and Jennifer entirely. To deal with her loneliness, Jennifer retreats into online games and comic books where she is free to wrap herself in the comforting shroud of her own imagination to ease the pain.
    It's funny how people have such different methods for dealing with pain, isn't it? Annabell Vane, for instance, is a cutter and a junkie. She is beaten by her boyfriend and her mother and suffers a constant barrage of verbal abuse from her father as well. Cocaine helps. So does whiskey. Annabell Vane is very violent, and most don't dare go near her. We're all relatively certain that one day she will snap and kill somebody.Most likely, though, she will kill herself in some dreadfully romantic gesture, which she believes will affect absolutely no one, because she has worked so hard to alienate everybody she's ever met. Annabell's only true friend is Jennifer Rockwell.
    The administration here is very strict, for the most part. The principal, Mrs. Penible, seems quite friendly during public events, but is rather abrasive during school hours. She is a very bitter woman, due primarily to the fact that her daughter is well known as being the "school slut." The Assistant Principals include Ms. Jenkins, who is an ethnic woman that is slightly racist and cannot stand dress code violations (if she is nearby, I suggest you remove any hat or wallet chain that you may be wearing) Mr. Lebowski, a rather grumpy old man, and Mr. Short, who you should approach if you have a problem, as he is quite friendly.
    Generally, the administration is less inclined to disturb you if you have high test scores. So be smart. If you can't be smart, work hard. If that doesn't appeal to you, cheat. If you decide to cheat, cheat off of someone who is either smart or a hard worker.
    Take Ariadne McGruff. She is both smart and hard working. She is well organized and constantly taking on three or four tasks at a time. Her class schedule is filled with Advanced Placement classes and she has been accepted into several prestigious universities. Ariadne is a very beautiful young lady with a small group of close friends. It isn't that she is unfriendly. Ariande simply prefers not to share too much with too many people. Her family is very poor, though you'd probably never guess that by looking at her. She's dating another young lady by the name of Kate Adams. Kate Adams is not like Ariadne at all. In fact, Kate is rather dumb. Very nice, certainly, but nowhere near as intelligent as Ariadne. Currently, Kate Adams is enrolled in New College of Florida, which is rather far away, meaning that Ariadne rarely gets to see her.
    Ariadne spends a large portion of her time with Dorian Elliot. She is one of very few people that tolerates him. He is very opinionated and not at all concerned with what others think of him. Dorian Elliot is in love with Ariadne McGruff. She knows how he feels and has respectfully declined his advances. Kate Adams and Dorian Elliot were friends at one time, but Kate's relationship with Ariadne has put an understandable amount of strain on their friendship. Dorian was once in a relationship with Annabell Vane. They drank together and called each other viscous names. Annabell Vane is still in love with Dorian Elliot. He does not return her affection.
    That's enough for now. Shouldn't you be in class? Move along, now. If you have any questions, come find me. I know everything you might need to know.