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Smoke swerld acrouse the dead city. Aloun figur ran from building to biulding. The seane was the same in each biulding. Lifeless bodys lay on the floors. the site was haunting. The girl shook here head causing her silver hair to fall down around her face and hide it. Her eyes scaned the epty city. a war had raged her. The building were crumbling and the lack of life were just the beging. Soon she moved on. In the whole city there was only one plaese untuched. The larg stachew of her mother and father stood unscrachedin te senter of the park.
Sarrina stoped to look up at the two loving faces."Hello mother , hello farther." She wisperd laying two rose at the foot the two. It had been a year saence she had carved it for them. Sarrina felt her haert sink lower in her chest. with one single movement she climbed up sit in granet folleds of her fathers cloke. She sat there till the dark clouds came and it began to rain. After several minets she lay her hand on the cold granet. "Tell me your story. What happend here?" Sarrinas vision blurd and a new site greated here.
It was just as she feard. Tardex had waited till she left two months ago. As soon as she was gone he lead a atack on the city of Gavera. The people had no chance. Sarrina poled her hand away. If Tardex distroyed Gavera injust no day what could he have done to the other 5 citys here. Sarrina stood to jump down but stoped. Some one was coming. She could here vioces. Two male vioces. She jumped to the ground and slipt behind her parents.
- by ArashiTsuyoi81 |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 04/23/2009 |
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- Title: Shadowed one Ch.1 lifeless
- Artist: ArashiTsuyoi81
- Description: i have no coment just read it! and yes i suck at spelling!
- Date: 04/23/2009
- Tags: shadowed lifeless
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Comments (4 Comments)
- ArashiTsuyoi81 - 04/23/2009
- did anyone see the part about suckig at spelling?1
- Report As Spam
- BeaniesFTW - 04/23/2009
- Whoah, you got lucky...I accidently hit 5/5.
- Report As Spam
- BeaniesFTW - 04/23/2009
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You made some good word choice, but seriously, EDIT BEFORE YOU SUBMIT. Here's a handful of mistakes I found:
It's swirled, not swerld. It's alone, not aloun. It's figure, not figur. It's scene, not sean. It's empty, not empty. And that's just a few. Try to make your writing as proffessional as possible. Otherwise, good. 4/5 for the dreadful grammar and spelling. - Report As Spam