• Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Elementary Teacher:
    “To get to the other side.”

    High School Teacher:
    “Even if I was to pinpoint accurately explained it, you imbeciles would not be able to understand.”

    University Professor:
    “To know why the chicken crossed the road (Also part of tomorrow’s discussion) read from pages 2-3050.

    Plato:
    “For good’s sake, truth dwells on the other side of the road.”

    Aristotle:
    “It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. All chickens are road crossing animals.”

    Karl Marx:
    “It was historically inevitable.”

    Captain James T. Kirk:
    “To go where no other chicken has gone before.”

    Martin Luther King:
    “I have a dream, where chickens can freely cross the road without having to give any justification for why the road is being crossed.”

    Moses:
    “And God descended from heaven and gave the commandment to the chicken: “You shall cross the road.” And the chicken crossed, and God saw that it was good.”

    Richard M. Nixon:
    “The chicken did not cross the road, I repeat; the chicken did not cross the road.”

    Machiavelli:
    “What is important here is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? Only the end of having crossed the road justifies any other motive which could have had.”

    Sigmund Freud:
    “The fact that it is a concern to know why the chicken crossed the road reveals your great sentiment of your latent sexual insecurity.”

    Bill Gates:
    “Just now we release to you our new program OfficePollo2007. Not only does it cross roads, but it is capable to incubate eggs, file documents…”

    Buddha:
    “To ask such a question (Why did the chicken cross the road?) Suggests your denial of your own chicken nature.”


    The Church of Scientology:
    “The answer is within, but you do not yet know it. With a reasonable payment of $500 dollars, and a lease of a lie detector, we shall perform a psychological analysis that shall allow discover the reason.”

    Bill Clinton:
    “I swear under the constitution that nothing happened between the chicken and me.”

    Stalin:
    “Execute that chicken as soon as possible, and also any witnesses at the scene, and ten other randomly selected subjects for not being able to prevent this subversive act.”

    George W. Bush:
    “The fact that the chicken crossed the road, despite our international peaceful resolutions, represents a severe threat to Democracy, Justice, and Freedom. Without any doubt, this proves we should have bombarded this road a long time ago.”

    “And to keep America safe, I shall assure you a chicken shall never again try to cross a road. For the simple reason that there shall be no more roads and chickens shall have no more legs. Thank You. God bless America.



    Confucius:
    The Master said: “Filial piety. On the other side, the chicken’s father and mother live. This chicken truly possesses the mandate of Heaven.”

    Dante:
    “To indulge in sinful acts. In Hell the chicken shall cross the road to the slaughter house. For an eternity, the chicken shall cross no other road.”

    Sophocles:
    “Damn you, shut your mouth, do you really want to hear the dreadful truth?

    Nietzsche:
    “The chicken is dead” Why believe every previous false clarification from all these truth seekers who conspicuously reflect their mutual jealousy by creating lie after lie (a truth in their own image) this lie is not even missing in Plato. This here is truth where ever is shouted “The chicken did not cross the road; it died along with their ideas. Chicken all too chicken.”

    Dostoevsky:
    “Out of wickedness; chickens that cross roads are the most bloodthirsty.

    William Blake:
    “To see the road how it truly is.”

    Huxley (Not Thomas):
    “By actually seeing the chicken cross the road through an open window; cleansed perception revealed to me that Plato was grotesquely wrong about the chicken’s justification.”

    Mark Twain:
    “Because chickens that do not cross roads, are no better than chickens that can not cross roads.”

    Socrates:
    “Because an unexamined road is not worth crossing.”


    immigrant:
    “QUE?”


    Jason Harrison:
    “I do not know. Why only chickens? Why not ask about penguins, or turkeys? They are also flightless birds.”

    Josestaphanes:
    “To learn from Josestaphanes; even wisdom crossed the road to learn from the greatest Philosopher that ever lived. And if you don’t believe, just ask me.”

    friend Tony:
    “Why would I want to know? Did the chicken stimulate the economy? Did it create any jobs? If not, then is not important.”