• He had no gravity. For some reason, the gravity never kept him down. Instead, he had to wear heavy weights around his ankles and wrists. He kept his hair short, else it would all float around and people would stare. He kept extra rocks in his bag, to keep himself from getting stuck on the ceiling. You think all these things would be painful and heavy, but if you ever asked, he'd shrug. Because he had no gravity, he had no weight, and it helped him be able to move quite freely, despite it all. Most kids kept away from him. I never did. I loved him.

    He was in all my classes, and I hung out with him after school as often as I could. His parents often keeping close eyes on us. Well…him more then me. I didn't matter to them, but he was their world. He meant everything to him, and he barely gave them a second glance. I always thought it quite heroic, how he spoke to them. How he handled them. They babied him, but he never gave in. He was terribly independent, and could stand on his own, and he knew it.

    It wasn't the first time we were going to sneak out together. I didn't live too far from him, and my mom had left for the weekend. We would sneak past the trees, over the river, and into the field. The field, in itself, was a mess. The grass mostly yellow and dry. There was only a couple of patches of green, and only a couple of flowers. Most of them shriveled and crunchy. Yet…if you walked around the field for a while, you realize there's this hill. A hill that you for some reason, didn't notice before. It was the greenest of greens, and daises covered the sides of it. He helped me with the small climb, I was never to good with heights, and we settled up on the top of the hill. He had found it not too long ago, and had nearly died with joy when he realized they'd be able to finally go see it at night, and sleep huddled up next to each other, to chase the cold away.

    He always liked Modest Mouse. He loved the sweet melodies, and the lyrics that held actual meanings. He also said that they were the 'words of the world'. He wished everyone would just listen to them. They didn't have to like the music behind it [though he did] that they should just listen to it. That they would understand things so much more, especially about each other. No one really listened to him. No one took any notice to the things he drew and wrote in the margins of all his papers. He put me in the horrible habit of doing the same thing, I just always got in trouble for it. More then once I was sent to the office and asked if suicidal. Ironic, I'm sure.

    On the hill he looked over at me. His eyes were always oddly colored. When he was mellowed out, they were a deep red, deep enough to be mistaken for a hue of purple. When he was thinking hard, his eyes would flare into a crimson type color, maybe a bit darker. His eyes alone could make me feel my soul. It made me look around the room, at all the living things and non. It made me feel the air. Not just breath it, but feel it. It made me appreciate movement, and all the five senses. It put the life back into me. Right now he was studying my face. Something he did often. "I need you to promise me something." His voice was gentle, softly reaching my ears. My head tilted a bit, barely noticeable. "Can you?" I nodded, slowly. Afraid of what he might say. I was always afraid that one day I would blink, and he'd be gone. Like a dream, one that you want to hold on to so badly, one that means so much to you, but slips your mind as soon as you aren't looking. As soon as you have to do anything else that involves using your mind, it slips away. Like it was never there.

    He had always told me about older times, and the way he thought the universe worked. He'd talk for hours about one little thought. He always chose me to come to. He had a couple of good friends, and he always had his parents, but he always came to me. With his theories and memories. It always made me feel so incredible. Like me and him were on the outside of the wave. The wave that was everyone else, rushing through life. Like we were on the outside of it, observing it and watching closely. Considering about jumping back in, but never doing so. It was almost like sitting on top of the Earth.

    "You know I'd promise you everything." He smiled and looked back up at the stars. We were laying down now. My head rising and falling as he breathed in and out. "I don't need everything. I just need this one promise." We stayed like this for a while longer, his hand running through my hair soothingly. We might as well have been one. The moon looked like it wasn't moving. This was our time. "I need you to promise…promise that you'll never change. And that you'll continue on through life just like you have been. I need you to keep your head down, and watch from a distance. Until you get old enough. Then I want you to leave, settle where you want, and live life. Just promise me that." I looked up at him, a bit of fear welling up in my eyes. "I'll promise that as soon as you tell me why." He shook his head, "Promise it to me."

    Back in one class…I think it was English…he had smuggled a bigger then usual Kit Kat in with him…he knew it was my favorite candy. He had unwrapped it, and would give me one piece at a time. He knew I would stuff all of it at once down my throat, so never gave me the whole thing. He knew how sick I got. As I was downing the third or so piece, he reminded me to breath. I often forgot to do this, when focused on something else…he then leaned in, and told me something that always worried me. He had said, "That Kit Kat is just like me, Puppy. Enjoy it too fast, it's gone." He had always referred to me as Puppy. Because of certain ways I did things, and the way I reacted to most things. He had then gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, and sat back in his seat. I never ate a Kit Kat too fast after that. Though they still made me sick if I ate too many.

    "I promise." He smiled, then made us sit up. In that moment, he took my chin in between his thumb and forefinger, and turned me a bit. He let his lips brush against my cheek, then turned me again, a bit more towards him. His lips hovered over mine, but instead of what I expected, he just said, "Close your eyes." I did. I didn't think about it. He leaned in over to my ear, and whispered, "I love you Puppy. And don't you forget that." He kissed my forehead, and then there was nothing. My side, which had been warm before, slowly got cold. "I love you too…" But when I opened my eyes, he was gone. The grass was flattened from where we had been laying. The weights he wore around his ankles and wrists were there. A small note held down by them. I pocketed the note, and let the tears roll down my face. I wanted to say so much, I wanted to scream, but at what? He had taught me to appreciate everything, and it wasn't the air, the stars, or the moons fault that he was gone. No, instead I curled up in a ball and laid my head down on the weights. I cried for who knows how long.

    When I got up, the sky was purple with streaks of pink. Colors of warmth. You think it would've welcomed me a bit more, but it didn't. I really didn't give a ******** what color the sky was. I picked up the weights, and looked down the side of the hill. He wasn't there anymore to help me down. A couple more tears rolled down my cheek at this, and I made my descent. All on my own.

    I reached his parents house, and went around back. His parents were outside. He was holding her, tears coming from their eyes. They eyed me, then the sadness changed. She came right at me, "It was you! You did this! He's gone! He was mine! Not someone for you…he was never meant for you…" She raised her hand to hit me, and normally I would have flinched, but instead I stood there. I was more upset then her, but I remained silent. He came over and put an arm around her. "She didn't make him…" "No! But she took him away! She did!" I looked at the weights. Thinking about keeping them for a second, but then decided they were the last of him there was, besides the note that was burning in my pocket. I held them out. She took them, violently, and I left. She swore at me some more, but I didn't listen.

    I returned to the field. Crying again. I stood at the bottom of the hill. "I love you too…" I trudged back up the side. Tripping once or twice, but I was determined. Despite all the wind, the grass remained flattened. I put my hand on it. Feeling it. Wishing it was back to how it just was, just a couple of hours ago. I sat down where he had been laying, and reached into my pocket.

    I always got there before him at school. To this day I always wait a couple of extra minutes. Hoping to see his smiling face come through the door, and greet me with his normal gentle hug and kiss on the forehead. They had always just been friends, but the love had always been there. But once he got there, we would always walk around for a while, or hang out around outside, listening to Modest Mouse, or the Strokes, and sometimes even the Beatles. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah had been one of his current favorites, and I myself fell madly in love with them. He had said something that day…something that had let me know he was drifting away from me. He had said, "Puppy…I just don't know anymore." I don't know was a phrase that had never, ever crossed his lips before. He always knew. He would always take the time to think, and would always know. Or at least voice his opinion.

    I pulled the note out, and unfolded it. For a minute, I couldn't look at it. I took a deep breath, and looked down.


    Puppy,
    You are my life. Always. Wherever I end up, I want you to know that. Not anybody else. Now, before I left, I made you promise to live your life. I'm holding you to that promise. You will never see me again. I know that. But I'll always watch over you. Even if you think I'm not. From the times you feel most lonely, and are crying because you think no one can hear you, I can. I'm right there, right with you. From the times where you're surrounded by friends and loved ones, and laughing at some silly reference I'm sure you made, or some song you wrote. I'll be there too. Laughing right with you. It was my time to let go. I needed to float on. I love you. Just remember, you promised. Live your life. And…breath.

    I let the air go. Going into another wave of crying. I didn't want to live without him. I didn't want to go anywhere without him right there. I didn't want to see anything with my eyes, or hear anything with my ears. I had no want to taste food, I had no will to let the air back into my lungs. I wanted to be with him. Why didn't he take me too?

    "It's weird. Even in the worst of times, no one really gives it to you any easier." I looked at him weird, "What do you mean?" He smiled, loving me saying such things. "I mean, puppy, that if you were fated to stub your toe, and then like…your dad died…you're still going to stub that toe. Even though you already feel like s**t, and everything's against you, and you feel like your soul is gone…you're still going to stub your toe. And it doesn't help at all." My head had tilted, "I thought you didn't believe in fate." "You always know what to say."

    I didn't want to leave the hill either. I wanted to remain there until death. That's what I wanted. But for some reason, the promise I had made to him…it made me get up. It walked me home. It brought me up to bed, and it made me fall asleep.

    When I woke up, I hoped to find him at school. I wanted to tell him all about the crazy dream I had…even though I knew it wasn't a dream. I could feel the note folded up in my pocket. It was making my leg itch, but I didn't want to grab it. I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to remember it. But I did.