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Romace The Loneliness
Here I stand, clasping in my hands this thing I call a heart. Don’t know where to go. So I hold onto it incase you come back for it. Standing on the edge of reason. Thinking of everything I ever done. Too much for one moment. Hateful to remember. To carry the sadness of every neighbor and to recall it all at once. It. Will. Just. Break. I will walk upon the highway, staring right back at everything. I’ll hold my hands out for someone to come and take this burden from me. Don’t care where you take it, because it’s already been there before. Don’t care how you break it, just do it carefully. So take me far away from here, anywhere will do. Just away from everyone and everything I do. No one understands that I don’t talk much. So please, take me away with the loneliness. Fall asleep at noon time. Wake up to the dawn. Stroke the clock to midnight, everything is gone. Have admiration for the other. Romance the loneliness. Have compassion in your nature. Dead be your dear mother. Silence the heavy heart of the unwilling. Make sure I don’t belong. And the only thing I whisper to my unsettled mind is don’t ever wake up, yet there is something still wanting to belong. So I wake in the morning, to see the reflection of an imposter, someone has taken over, this person is not me. This paper white skin I shall light on fire. I will rid everyone of one more mistake, one more problem. So breath into this shallow heart, let go just one last time. Recall the painful memories, try to let them behind. Hold hands with the stillness; accept the re-calling darkness in your heart. Become infatuated with the nothing. Everyone is waiting on you. All you have to do is say those words and all is forgiven. Although your lips sewn tight together shall not let you whisper the words of forgiveness wanting to be heard. Not wanting to let you release the pain anymore. Your eyes, dark and hollow, with no feeling what-so-ever, just the empty holes that are there to see the truth, scratched out with a bullet so that they cannot see their existence. Your heart, stitches through and through. There is nothing left to even be considered a human heart. Everything that made it has left to become one with the nothing-ness that is your true existence. So fade away into the shadows. Your beauty’s fading and so is your mind. Lost with everything. You never wanted to control your mind. You let others do it for you. You who thought you understood it all. You who thought that once the tide came that you were ready to take it on. You who I looked for in the dark. You, who I wanted to be so much, was taken away with it all. You were my hero, and now you are nothing. I did not want to become you, this tyranny of evil has taken over, and no longer did I have a mind to control. So forgive me. I who thought that the knowledge I have could last a life time, it hasn’t. I, who is lost in the shadows. I was taken away with everything I resisted. I was never a hero, I was always nothing. So romance the loneliness you call a heart. Forgive every burden I have placed upon your shoulders. I can barely inhale, yet I still can. And every breath more shallow then the next, becomes softer than the whispers of the wanders in the silence. So take the last one, drink it all down, and forget the words they told you. Forget those accusations. You, who are lighted upon the shadows, have finally decided to snuff the light, others left to wander alone without a fire. But you who do not care, are selfish enough to leave the others behind, but like they told you, take care of yourself first, and this, was what you thought had to be done. So sing the song of sorrows one last time, depart from this place we call home. Forgive everyone you ever hated, but mostly yourself. Fly away and take me with you, don’t leave me behind. Your footsteps fit oh so perfectly, yours and mine. I will follow suit and the soil to become our home. Finally the silence can knock on our doorstep and become one. So you who are my mind so twisting, deceitful and disturbed, and I who am the darkness so pale, fragile and cold, finally rest, to a place we can call home. I am holding hands with you, romancing the loneliness that is this being. I have finally listened to what I said. Fools bring reasoning into everything. The power of logic is not greater than emotions, I know this because no longer can I forgive myself. Yet the only thing I ever wanted was for someone to understand this suffering. This light is going out; it’s breaking, carrying every sadness with me. So rain on me one last time, dance to the grief of the night. I am romancing this loneliness, just one last time.
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