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The world is setting in on me and the ones i look for now...i can not find. the lie holds me back with crimson covered guilt apon her arms and lies to me...were is my goddesses when i need them? And the one before that now torments me too...8 times the cold steel has grazed my arm but yet to draw any such blood...my will is strong and i must be strong for others...but for how much longer can i hold out. a lesser person could not hold out as long as i have, i know this...but every day that passes...that steel looks better and better. even i, the one people come too for aid, sometimes needs to be held as well. were is my shoulder to cry on?...were is such a person to care for my well being. the truth rears its ugly head in my face as it has in the past...no one...no one...god...you play a crule game with me. but i know i can beat you...i have seen it...my own happiness...but the face with me is always clouded...and i know the road is long for us all...desire...lust...agony...pain...confustion...trust.... .... ..love. Love is a mix of these and oh so more a fellings and when im with the crimson demon, i think of the goddeses that bring me happiness...but alas...i feel something has gone astray as if...ive messed up again. my self estem takes another mindless blow. damn her...damn her and the way she plays with my emotions. She keeps me from my...true loves. Her lies will drive me to the brink of insanity if i dont pick a path soon...but the question still is...which path will i find love?