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My broken heart......a love i fear to lose
Current mood: crushed


I lay in my bed stairing at the broken celling........tears slide down my face as i cover my mouth to keep from waking others.........my heart.....breaks.......slowly....painfully......as my eyes slowly close to picture her........in my hand i hold half a two dollor bill.......remebering what has been lies........i get up and lay down on the floor....unwilling to be in my own bed.......for that we have fallen alseep in many a time watching shows........has it all been lies?........every glance.........every laugh........every hold......every kiss........every touch......every memery........when did it end?.........how could i not tell.......is she a better actress than i had thought?.........no........i will not lose hope...........i have never cryed so deeply......never felt......so alive with one person......just.......when i see........her face.......her eyes.......i have lost much......and now......you take the one thing i hold dear from ******** YOU!............it cant be lies........not all of it........there must have been some truth......in our embraces...........but.......i have won and loss happiness before......why is this...so.....different...........i do not want what is best for me...........i care not for my own well being.....i want only...for her to be happy......and if the happiness is not to be with me.....then i will not hold her in my arms.....i will let her go.....into anothers arms....ones who will hold her tighter than i could have ever wished too.......for he must be a better man then I........maybe i was ment to be alone........but i will not let her go yet......i will lock my arms around her untill i know.......that there is no hope left........that......or she looks me in the eyes.........and i look back into hers....and see......deep down within them.......past her barrier......past the storm clouds that block others..........down....within her very soul....if it was truly ment to be........no words will be spoken......and i see for myself.......that hope has fled........then......and only then.....will i surrender her from my heart.....so that she can try and find ture happiness........my tears...continue to fall as i hear a door open and feet coming down the stairs......i wrap a blanket around myself and dry my face from the tears i have never so souly perduced......and i sit back on my bed........the blanket.....we once shared.......starts to warm me in my cold room........i can almost smell you from it if i close my eyes and think hard enough.....and i look at my mother and lie to her face......."im fine......."