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~*Rude Boy
Yea ; yesterday was amazing. I spent my day with Tanner, and god, I just had these rush of emotions. I let go of Kenny telling him I did not want him back.
I didn't want him near me at all, people are gossiping about me too much. This Angela girl isn't leaving me alone intill you leave me entirely. If we got back together something like this will just happen again.
He told me it was getting boring anyways. So I suspected I wasn't daring enough.
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At our school a play was being held called The Nerd. Sam, Matthew, Sonie and Zach were going with me, I thought having Tanner along would be fun. It was.
Throughout the whole play he held my hand tightly. The blood flow through my fingers failed, so they begun to turn cold. We were gripping our hands so tightly that, yes, it later on got sweaty. But we laughed not wanting to let go. His arms were awfully long, so he had to bend his arm to just hold my hand correctly.
In my mind it was all so normal - that this is what I wanted. I spent too much time in a silly relationship that talked about sex, SEX and more physical cravings. That holding hands were simple enough for me.
When the play ended, Tanner excused himself to the restroom. Sonie, Sam and Matthew asked questions.
’Is he still with Val?’
‘Won’t he break up with her?!’
‘What do you mean you don’t know!?’
Every question, I didn’t know. But my heart hoped that he would either let me be, or break up with Valerie.
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We waited for my mom to pick us up. It was cold and dark outside. We were guessing if stars were really stars, or were they moving airplanes. We held each other for a short time, I looked up at him.
This would be your perfect chance to kiss if you were with Val. Learn this now, so a moment like this, go for the kill!
’Why her? Why can’t we kiss now?’
My lips are chapped!
’Mines are too! So it’ll still be good!’
My head ticked. I was no different than Angela in this situation; if I were to kiss him now, I would be a hoe. Simple as that – this was just not right. But the thing that I hated about being a woman was the wanting. When you wanted something, you went to your fullest extent to get it. I wanted so bad to have someone, to take something and forget my own grief.
As long as you’re with Val I’ll do anything but that. Anything that will be wrong.
He kind of sighed and held my hand.
’I can’t help it if I like you.’
If you do. Stop putting me in second.
 NinteyDegrees_South · Mon Feb 22, 2010 @ 06:37am · 0 Comments |
