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~*Grow
I was about to tell you to grow and mature from your problems. . .
Was what i commented on Tanner's myspace default picture. Kai took the picture, Bernadine and I sitting ignoring the camera, Tanner at the far left corner sitting.
He was tagged in that photo and used it as his default. But the default picture was different- Bernadine and I were scribbled over with paint and he put dead faces on us. I was told this at lunch last Monday- I shrugged it off. It was silly.
'He just said he didn't want you in the picture.'
Of course.
Who knows what clicks in his head.
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Not dating. Boyfriend and Girlfriend?
I think people look at us as that cute, perverted, physical couple. I find it strange when people call us a couple, and we're not even dating. I guess we are. Jr. High party changed that. The way we talked change that.
We were close without that dating s**t. Though it was confusing to say 'I love you,' at night. Hard to kind of say ,'I like you,' in some ways also. We know we both like each other; but since Kenny is different in some ways it was just hard for me. What to call him? What should I do to him? What should I do with him? Be with him.
Not dating. Who needs dating? Dating was just two people getting to know each other. When really- Kenny and I didn't need to do that because we knew each other like that. The two of us were wide open- no secrets what-so-ever.
It's gone to the point where I can't stop thinking about him. I feel stupid. I don't like it, what the hell, this is totally out there. It confuses me.
I feel happy in his presence.
I am attached to him.
He never tricks me. Then I don't want this all to get to my head because we're going to go our seperate ways in highschool. But he's so confident. About being together. It scares me.
Today during track I was looking at the old track picture from last year on the door. I saw his relfection coming near me on the glass and i felt his body push me against the door.
I laughed weakly and turned around.
Look.
I pointed to where he was in the crowd. Wearing glasses and a stupid haircut.
You were so nerdy and cute last year.
He laughed and looked at it. Then leaned on the door.
'Why didn't i hang out with you in 7th grade?'
He asked me this question before. He askes me alot of questions. I remember telling him that it was because of the groups we were in. Then he said one day, 'I regret it.'
 NinteyDegrees_South · Thu Apr 30, 2009 @ 04:55am · 0 Comments |
