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Problems that are happening now:
-I'm having surgery next Tuesday. So that means i'll be drugged up, on painkillers, and hoping my cousin can watch over me during spring break.
-I lost two lbs. Not intentionally, it just seems with all my sports, i'm just losing it..
-Tanner
Today was fun, no homework, just SAT's. I don't know why they call it that, but it just makes it sound like a big deal; when really, it isn't. This meant i had to be stuck in a classroom with Tanner. This meant i wold be seperated from Val, Megan, Sarah and, of course, Kenny. The breaks were long. I flew through the tests. During our breaks, we laughed at Valerie who tried to finish her detention slips in time.
Kids either walked around the school or stayed in the classroom. We chose to stay where we weren't suppose to be at.
Talking.
Laughing.
I was thinking. It may have felt the drama stopped- but there was always a big gap between Tanner and Kenny. Then how i pretty much wanted to kill Tanner for making Valerie cry.
'Come walk outside with me, babe.'
It's too cold.
Yes, it was cold. But i couldn't walk with Kenny at his side, clinging to him as he already was doing. Because he seemed sad, or worried. Not cocky, energetic. Just tired. I didn't want my questions to bother him about, If he talked to Tanner yet. Or any improvments. But, of course just by reading his face there wasn't. There was never any improvments.
During lunch Kenny sat at his usual spot. In front of Tanner- and all i could notice was that Tanner never cared to make eye contact.
Skipping all the usuals, i ran over to Kenny after the end of music. Everybody was telling me to talk to him- as in find out what the hell is wrong with him.
What's wrong?
'Nothing, babe.'
You could tell. If you were right there, you could tell he didn't want me in his problems. He didn't want me to worry- i should love this shouldn't I? No boy gave me the freedom as he did; he never wanted me to worry. He was that kind of guy. He even got between the fight with me and Stuart.
I couldn't tell him to back off my own problems. But he could tell me to back off from his, because he wanted to prove he was able to handle it.
I hated it. It's just something i wasn't used to.
As Kenny and I walked to track, he put his arm around me.
'It's just Tanner, OK? Nothing. . . new. He's just being immature, just don't worry, babe.'
Babe talk. This nickname i've just cherished. Sounds silly, but i've grown attached to him. He was so different. Why didn't i look at guys like him? Why? Megan said something about it- but i kind of forgot.
Text:
'I'll go to sleep if you tell me you love me.'
I love you to the moon and back.
But i'm still worrying.
 NinteyDegrees_South · Tue Mar 31, 2009 @ 04:23am · 2 Comments |
