Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

~*Waiting. . .

I have no memories from lastnight. They're all very choppy. . All i remember is once my computer crashed, i went straight to bed to finish my book. Once i was done, I remember i fell asleep at 1 A.M. My mom wasn't home yet.
I dreamt that i was at school and preparing for a huge history test. Mrs. Trosper our history teacher gave us one day to study. Edward was my partner. As i tried to study, i remember seeing a boy come towards me and tickle my hips, massaging my back, and telling me secrets.
When i woke up at 2 A.M. My mom still not home... I labeled him the biggest flirt.
Then i laid my head on the pillow and sketched a girl and her ex-boyfriend fighting. The girl was a serious crack addict, while her ex was trying to convince her to go to rehab. The more she argued, he threatened; then said he's taking her by force. The ex was tired of bringing her cocaine, and heroine. He was done, and wanted her back. She did not care. He then yelled:
'Why can't you ******** quit already! I did! Yet, i waste my money buying this s**t for you! Do you know why i do this for you?'
The girl didn't look at him nor did he answer.
'I ******** love you thats why!'
I know.
She said. Her ex threw his arms in the air then collasped on the couch. 'Why do you do this to me anyways? Look at you, just look! I'm worried. I love you, so much. I just want you to smile again, not that ******** high as a kite, smile. s**t. Half the times you're so high, you don't remember who i am. Hell, yesterday i saw you screaming at a trash bag. you were a mess.'
The girl looked at her cut up feet. She did not remember. But she remembered her ex carrying her to her room.
Shut up. I don't want to hear this s**t.
'Listen, you are getting help. Like it or not.'
Then he kissed her with so much force, her lips ached. She tried to push him away, but he was holding her to tightly. She gave up and kissed back. Then her ex got up shaking his head.
'Why did I just do that. . .?'
He whispered.
Because you love me. She said.
Once i finished that scene in my head, i got up and looked at the clock. 2:45 A.M. My mom wasn't home.
I went in the kitchen and grabbed a lighter. Then i went and found a lavender stick. I went in the garage a lit it. Once it got on fire, a whole burnt in the middle then white smoke wafted out. The smell of lavender won over the burnt smell.
It looked like a cigeratte to me, so i held it between my fingers like one. I swung it around and played with the smoke. Then i did something stupid, i put the stick in my mouth, holding it between my teeth like a cigeratte. I spit it out and coughed. Then i stabbed it on the ground, burning it out. My mom wasn't home yet, i was yet worrying about her. She never worked this late before, what if some bum snatched her while she was walking the streets of downtown?
Then i worried about school work, school itself, friends and swimming. Then Hailey, Tanner and other relationship struggles. I felt as if the boy really touched my hips. My hips tickled, i felt someone drum it gently. I got scared and went inside to look at my phone. 3:10 A.M. As soon i was going to turn off my phone, Chris texts me:
Bored.
I suddenly had the urge to shatter my phone yet again, but threw it on my bed instead.
Turned out the next morning, my mom was out partying.