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Loneliness Something weird is going on in my head while I am writing a paper on the advocation of accepting loneliness rather than avoiding pain. I can say stuff like: "When life is hard it means that what is going on is worth our time. Anything that is hard helps a person improve themselves. There are a lot of teenagers and older people that haven't been alone for too long enough, certainly not enough time to know what it's like to be depressed or in need of a change. Because of the constant careless ideals we are driven to admire for society to function happily some of us don't learn enough and end up homeless without any way for redemption at life. " But every minute I talk to Valerie I keep contradicting the words that my soul wants to hear. It's now changing and my mortal goals are shifting from darkness to the warmth radiating from her soul... I don't get this! Not yet that is but it's eating away at me. I can't even finish the paper anymore!! I've been spending 2 days on trying to complete it and I keep stopping because of what is happening inside me. I keep recalling how strong she is. She cries then gets right back up and allows someone to comfort her. She can't stop showing love for people no matter how much she is hurt and she always seems interested in what I say... Where does she get this strength? She doesn't even fight me or get angry which is something only I do for people... I never thought there was someone else out there like that. I don't like to be happy all the time and I have to discipline myself to believe that more than ever and it hurts to want to accept that now. Before it didn't used to be like that... At least before I met Valerie. I can look at the images playing in my mind and feel okay with wanting to have fun, with accepting the pain but not letting it get to me to the point all I am doing is thinking about how sad I am... It's like I actually want to be happy now... What is she doing to me? gonk gonk gonk

Posted by: General Zero X Sat Aug 02, 2008 @ 11:32pm

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Commented on: Sun Aug 03, 2008 @ 02:26am


	This really means a lot to me... heart You have changed my life in many ways as well. Your such a great person and even a better friend. I really truly love you Brian. I know I've told you that many times before, but I really mean it this time(I've always meant it). Your such an amazing person and I wish there were more guys like you here in Texas. I am never dating another guy unless he is half the guy you are. P.S. Good luck with your paper...^ ^

Commented on: Sun Aug 03, 2008 @ 02:56am


	shakes up and down Must hug you!! There is this warm feeling inside!! I must hug you before it gets cold!!

General Zero X
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Commented on: Sun Aug 03, 2008 @ 03:21am


	wraps arms around you This is nice...

Commented on: Sun Aug 03, 2008 @ 03:25am


	A little too hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xp

General Zero X
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Commented on: Sun Aug 03, 2008 @ 04:02am


	Your not hugging me back!!!!! scream scream

Commented on: Sun Aug 03, 2008 @ 04:13am

General Zero X
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Commented on: Sun Aug 03, 2008 @ 04:21am


	That looks nice..^ ^

Commented on: Sun Aug 03, 2008 @ 04:40am


	Yeah I love hugs like that!! That's why I need to find myself an emo girl cause she will like those kinda hugs 4laugh

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Commented on: Sun Aug 03, 2008 @ 04:45am


	Haha. Emo's kiss and hug best!!!

Commented on: Sun Aug 03, 2008 @ 04:57am


	This is true!! We kiss and hug in a meaningful way that can't be copied!! I think I even know how to kiss right even though I haven't ever tried....

General Zero X
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Commented on: Sun Aug 03, 2008 @ 05:35am


	Everyone knows how to kiss!!! Some just do it better than others...

Commented on: Sun Aug 03, 2008 @ 05:36am


	I mean I think I could really get into it and be good... hopefully. eats tictacs just in case

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Commented on: Sun Aug 03, 2008 @ 05:45am


	I bet you could. Of coarse you shall never kiss better than me...J/k.

Commented on: Sun Aug 03, 2008 @ 12:55pm


	Wow Brian thats really deep.....Were did u learn to write like that wow... I Love It =] It's really good=] mrgreen

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General Zero X
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Commented on: Sun Aug 03, 2008 @ 06:00pm


	To Valerie: Well we will never know but you are probably right. There is just those things you can't learn until you get out there and goes for it. To Tati: I taught myself 4laugh I'm not the greatest writer but yeah I taught myself.

Commented on: Mon Aug 04, 2008 @ 08:04am


	i actually read that one... stare i know what you feel.. from the same person!

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General Zero X
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Commented on: Mon Aug 04, 2008 @ 08:05am


	Are you sure? Are you usually an unhappy person?

Commented on: Mon Aug 04, 2008 @ 08:23am


	when im home alone and chatting with you guys im happy.

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General Zero X
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Commented on: Mon Aug 04, 2008 @ 08:24am


	I won't deny you your belief but I know as a person growing up in today's world there is no doubt that you will grasp the concept I have presented in this journal... You are a good kid.

Commented on: Sun Jul 19, 2009 @ 10:57am


	Wow u have no idea how many times i have read this... every time i do it leaves me sobbing

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