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Sango's Decision pt.I
“Hiraikotsu!!”
The massive bone hurtled through the air, severing the last of the demon horde in two. It let out one final grunt of pain before falling into the pile of its slain comrades. Catching hiraikotsu as it swung back, I let out a loud sigh and wiped my forehead with the back of my hand.
“The seventh attack this week,” were the only exasperated words I could muster.
A few yards away Kohaku nodded, cleaning the blade of his kusarigama with one of the demons’ hakama.
“Keh, what’d you expect?” InuYasha growled, not even bothering to remove the bloody green glop from his claws. “Naraku’s not around to keep these demons in check, so there’s gonna be a whole lot more of ‘em.”
“He’s right,” Miroku chimed in gruffly. Noting his solemn appearance I frown. It had only been a few days since the final battle and Kagome’s disappearance. However, the youkai had wasted no time in coming out of hiding. Kaede’s village alone had undergone multiple conflicts with these bloodthirsty beasts. I could only imagine how other villages without guard were faring.
I watched silently as the houshi wiped the sweat from his brow. Out of all of us he seemed to be the most fatigued. With the kazaana gone he only had his shakujo and sutras to rely on. In complex battles such as the one we just fought, houshi-sama would have preferred to use the curse opposed to enduring extended amounts of physical labor. But this is no longer an option, and the battles grow more time-consuming and tiresome.
He caught my gaze after a moment, and realizing I was staring he smiled lightheartedly, “Something wrong, love?”
I blushed and looked down at my feet, “It’s nothing. You just seem a bit – exhausted.”
Houshi-sama shook his head and reached up his hand to pull at the collar of his kosode, “Well it’s not necessarily enjoyable to be in such thick robes battling youkai at the height of a summer day.”
I gave a comforting smile, “I know what you mean.” It was a little suffocating in the clingy battle suit that supposedly ‘attracted the sunlight’ as Kagome-chan once said, but over the years I’ve grown used to it.
Upon my response the houshi grinned mischievously, “So then I’m hot, you’re hot – why don’t we do away with the clothing and take a pleasant swim in the river?”
“Give it a rest, houshi,” I mumbled in embarrassment, all too aware of Kohaku’s scowl from a distance. He may have accepted houshi-sama and this new way of life, but he was still my protective little brother who did not appreciate suggestive comments on the monk’s behalf. At this rate houshi-sama would never receive Kohaku’s blessing.
InuYasha suddenly cleared his throat, loudly, and everyone’s eyes fell back to him. “We should head back to the village. The old hag was just about to feed us before this whole thing.” With his arms crossed and back hunched he stomped off in the direction we appeared.
“What’s his problem?” Shippo grumbled from Kirara’s back. “All he does is sit by the well. And when he’s not, he’s with us complaining about something.”
The best I could offer the kitsune was a sad smile, “Leave him alone, Shippo. He probably needs time to recover.”
“Recover – from what?”
I shook my head dismissively and began to walk down the path, “Come on, we should get going.” Kirara’s loud footfalls and the rings of Miroku’s shakujo assured that they followed.
‘Poor InuYasha’ I conveyed to myself, ‘Out of the final battle, who’d have thought Kagome-chan would be the one to leave us? She’s alive and safe, but can he really be happy with that fact alone? ’
My eyes closed as sympathy took hold. ‘At least he is brave. That is more than I could ever be if houshi-sama vanished as she did.’
Turning back to him, my heart fluttered reassuringly as he cheerfully smiled in return.
“Woooow, look at all the soldiers!”
At Shippo’s observation my eyes went back to the road ahead. Indeed, the streets seemed to be swarming with warriors, all of which dropped to the ground and bowed deeply.
“What’s all this about?” Kohaku questioned from my side, uncomfortable with all this lavishing attention.
My throat went dry while I noticed their armor, whispers, and presentation towards me. My footsteps grew shallower as intuition rattled my nerves. Finally I spun on my heels, glancing at the others anxiously, “Ano – we should-”
“Youkai taijiya no Sango,” someone called in a booming voice behind me. I mentally cringed and looked over to houshi-sama, who seemed to know exactly what was going on. I turned once more, attempting to keep the displeasure away from my physical appearance.
A near bald soldier presented himself with a swift bow, and knelt before me with a few of his men.
“We have come representing the Takeda clan, and bear a message for you.” The man reached beneath his chest plate and pulled out a fair sized scroll, ivory shaded and scented with some foreign perfume.
“The Lord Takeda Kuranosuke wishes for an audience upon matters most dear to him.”
My hand clutched loosely around the scroll, afraid to see what words might be written within it. “What if I haven’t the time for said meeting?”
“He insists that you arrive as soon as possible.”
I bit my lip in a mix of irritation and uncertainty.
“Just go.”
Startled, I looked over to InuYasha who slouched against a nearby crate. He continued when seeing my look of confusion, “Whether ya want to or not doesn’t make a difference. And I’ll bet these bozos aren’t gonna leave unless they get what they were supposed ta. So the sooner you clear things up, the sooner these guys get lost, and the sooner you get back here. Got it?”
Reluctantly I nodded, and as if to appease he added, “I’m staying here just in case the village is attacked again. You guys can go with her; I can handle it all by myself.”
“Yeah but just in case,” Shippo hopped off of Kirara to spring onto InuYasha’s shoulder. “I’ll stay too.”
“Keh, like you’re any help in battle.”
Sighing inwardly I looked back at the only three left. Kirara would definitely come with me, and Kohaku’s expression of confused curiosity led me to believe that he would tag along as well. Lastly I gazed up into houshi-sama’s surprisingly dark eyes. Debating if I should ask him, I was answered by his call over my shoulder to the soldier, “We’ll leave after our meal. Please find something to occupy yourself with in the meantime.”
-*-
The soldiers dashed ahead of us at an unexpectedly fast pace. Kohaku and I sat atop Kirara while she glided along the path, and given the limited space the feline had to offer houshi-sama instead ran by our side. It would probably take us a few hours past nightfall to get to the castle.
“Ane-ue?”
“Hm?” I leaned slightly to the side in order to see my brother’s face.
“This Kuranosuke person, what business does he have with you?” he asked quietly.
Unconsciously I frowned, and turned to the route ahead, “We met after an extermination at his castle when you were just a small boy. During our journey he summoned us to slay yet another youkai, and later asked me for my hand.”
“Eh!?” Kohaku called rather dramatically, “But he didn’t even know you! You didn’t accept, did you?”
“No,” I paused, reluctance in my tone. “Though my excuse was that of defeating Naraku first.”
The boy frowned, “And that is why he is sending for you now, because he has found out about Naraku’s demise.”
“Most likely …”
He was silent for a long while, then quietly whispered as not to let the monk overhear, “Although you promised yourself to Miroku-san, ne?”
I nodded hesitantly and lowered my voice as well, “Kuranosuke-sama doesn’t know of that, it was arranged after our encounter.”
Kohaku again paused, trying to put pieces together, “Then why did you agree to Miroku-san’s proposal when Kuranosuke asked before him? Circumstances were the same and yet you changed your answer.”
I smiled more with my eyes then my actual lips, “I believe you know the answer to that, Kohaku.”
Looking away he nodded, appearing to be consumed in some far off memory.
Tempted by the subject I turned away from the road ahead and glanced at the man running beside us. His mind seemed distracted as well, his eyes far off and expression vague. He looked very handsome like that. Realizing where my thoughts had strayed I blushed and looked down at Kohaku’s back.
‘Now is not the time to be thinking of such things,’ I told myself wearily. But my mind is always resistant, and shortly wanders back to things I wish to overlook.
As the days pass I find it more and more difficult to resist him. We were cut loose from the tragedy fate had set upon us, and now that we are free I’m both excited by and afraid of the path before us. Of course that doesn’t mean I’m frightened to embrace it when the time comes. However …
“Right, Sango. When everything is over and we return … let’s get married.”
Spoken right before we entered Naraku’s shell, those seldom words were enough encouragement to keep me fighting – but for once not to avenge my family and kin, and not to save my brother’s life – but for the sake of our future together.
Yet houshi-sama hadn’t spoken a word of a wedding since the kazaana’s disappearance. True it was only a short time since Naraku’s death, but knowing the houshi it seemed surprising that he hadn’t mentioned it yet. Against my better nature I found myself drawing to conclusion; thinking it was just a ruse to get me to fight, or that he was uncomfortable with the elements of a monogamous relationship – or simply that he’d lost interest. Nothing good ever comes from these thoughts, but far be it for me to bring up such matters with him. It is not a woman’s place.
Wearing myself into a state of doubt, I glanced once more at the monk. This time he seemed to feel my gaze and turned to rest his eyes upon my own. They seemed more unreadable than usual, though I could faintly perceive a melancholy tint. And just when I thought I could uncover it, the mask was back. He closed his eyes in a cheery little grin; one that I’ve long since discovered was false. Unlike the genuine one he’d flashed me after our battle earlier today, this smile felt colder and distant. I hated it. It symbolized how he preferred to keep to himself and not burden others with his troubles. Seeing that facade directed towards me now only strengthened my discontentment. So I turned away from the mask, bothered and confused.
Why couldn’t he open up to me?
-*-
After miles upon miles of trekking up the mountainous terrain and navigating through steep passageways we arrived at the castle as the moon reached its highest in the sky. The guards led us to the massive courtyard and over the painted bridge, arguing with one another if it was wise to intrude the lord’s quarters so late at night. Reaching the stairs we were directed to slip off our sandals and follow the next set of guards down the outside walkway.
“This place is huge,” Kohaku whispered from behind houshi-sama and I. He was the only one who hadn’t seen the castle before, and his amazement was evident enough in his expression.
The guards in front of us abruptly halted and knelt to the ground on either side of a doorframe. Then reaching hands up towards an expensive looking shouji they pulled back the sides and bowed their heads.
Observing their hand gestures I swallowed nervously and timidly stepped foot within the room. Miroku and Kohaku, with Kirara perched on his shoulder, entered shortly afterwards. Front and center in the large room, Kuranosuke sat on his respectable throne; one hand propping his head up against his knee as he dozed off idly. At the snap as the shouji closed he startled and bolted upright.
“Wha – w-what was- …” he trailed off, his eyes focusing the blurry people into recognition. A large smile finally spread on his features and he stood immediately, “Sango. How long it’s been!” Quickly he marched over to us and cupped my hands within his own.
I blushed awkwardly and bowed my head to escape his piercing gaze, “It is nice to see you in good health, Kuranosuke-sama.”
He gave a hearty laugh, “Come now, Sango. There is no need for such formalities.”
Whether it was intended or not, houshi-sama distinctly cleared his throat. The intruding sound distracted Takeda’s thoughts and he moved his eyes over to the monk and smaller boy slightly behind me.
“Ah, so you’ve come back as well,” he said coolly, his tone much more reserved than the one he took with me.
The houshi bowed his head in response, “If it is not too much trouble to allow me accommodation, sir. I did not feel comfortable with Sango traveling alone.” At the wary eye the lord sent him he added, “after all, it was a large group of unfamiliar men.”
Finally understanding the excuse Kuranosuke laughed again, “How wonderful you should think of a woman’s welfare. However my men are honorable soldiers who would die a thousand deaths rather than disobey my orders. And knowing the strong, brave person Sango is, I doubt she would have any trouble at all defending herself if need be.”
Houshi-sama seemed to be scowling inwardly, it was in his eyes.
Takeda finished his final bit of laughter before facing Kohaku, “And what of this young lad?”
“He is my younger brother,” I responded, having now stepped back to align with the monk.
“Astounding! ” the lord gaped, comparing the smaller taijiya’s appearance to my own. My back stiffened with distaste, loathing the way Kuranosuke sized my brother up like some freakish experiment.
Unsure of what to do, Kohaku merely bowed his head, “H-Hagimemashite, Kuranosuke-sama.”
“Tell me, boy. What do you think of this castle?”
“Ano … it’s very … extravagant?”
“Is it not? Throughout the entire estate you’ll find the most cultured pieces from across the land and overseas. There is room for nothing but excellence within these walls.” He shifted to clasp my hands once more, “And that is why I seek the finest beauty of them all as my wife.”
I felt my stomach sink at his words, flattering as they may be they belonged to the wrong caller. Out of the corner of my eye I watched houshi-sama, who despite the challenging suitor’s attempts remained calm and quiet. It unnerved me in a way. Why wasn’t he saying anything?
Kuranosuke did not seem fazed by my forlorn manner. He went on about this and that, his wealth and fame, etcetera, etcetera. And when he seemed to be finished he planted a hand on Kohaku’s shoulder and patted it roughly, “You see, my boy – if Sango agrees to consummate marriage and become my bride, you shall partake in all the spoils this clan has to offer.”
A sudden crash of hatred struck within me. Did he think he could get Kohaku’s blessing just by bribing him? My gentle, selfless little brother who always thought of another’s happiness before his own? Surely he must be out of his mind! The jingle of the rings on houshi-sama’s shakujo lured my eyes to his grip. He held the staff in a white knuckled clench that betrayed his entire body language. Could he possibly be thinking the same as I was?
“Kuranosuke-sama …” Kohaku started slowly. He seemed taken aback, “I’m … not interested in material possessions and wealth. Nor is ane-ue. Chichi-ue taught us to appreciate the company of others more so than one’s own property and prosperity. Social stature is not something I look upon when considering my sister’s suitor.”
I smiled warmly at my brother. His small speech spoke worlds of why I missed him so much.
“I see …” It was all Takeda could think of. It appeared he hadn’t expected that response.
My ears perked as houshi-sama’s soothing voice floated through the air yet again.
“Sir, perhaps we should call it a night. These pressing issues should be dealt with a clear and rested mind. We’ve all had a very tiresome day.”
I watched as the lord’s eyes met with his, and could almost see the crackling sparks of hostility flash between them.
“Of course,” Kuranosuke replied in his collected voice. “The servants within the hall will show you to your rooms.”
“Rooms?” Kohaku questioned, putting emphasis of the plural ‘s’.
“Certainly. We can’t have you all cooped up like a pen of swine now, can we?” He laughed indifferently, merriment shared by himself alone. Noticing his error he soon calmed down and cleared his throat, “That was a joke.”
Forcing on a smile that was, if anything, sympathetic, I bowed, “Thank you for the rooms. We’ll be going to sleep now.”
“Oh! One last thing, Sango.” I put my hands behind my back casually so he wouldn’t have a chance to cup them again. Fidgeting now that he had nothing to hold onto, he gave an uneasy smile, “Please say you’ll join me for morning meal tomorrow.”
I did my best to smile in return, “I’ll try to make it.” And before he could speak I bowed again and trailed out the open shouji and into the hallway, houshi-sama and Kohaku following close behind. One of the female servants caught up and directed us towards our rooms.
“So that is Kuranosuke,” Kohaku murmured between us. “More like Kura-no-baka.”
“Kohaku, be nice,” I scalded, though in a soft and humored voice. The childish nickname was somewhat amusing.
Letting my brother take the lead I fell back in stride with houshi-sama. He had that far off look on his face again, like there were unpleasant thoughts whirling around in his head. I felt so guilty putting him through this. Discreetly I slipped my hand down to touch his uncovered right, giving it a comforting squeeze. I wanted him to know that nothing has changed. My breath hitched however when he didn’t respond; no squeeze back, no lacing his fingers with my own, nothing. His hand just lay limply by his side.
Brows arching in concern I peered up at him, my voice quiet, “Houshi-sama, what’s wr-”
“M’Lady, this will be your room,” the maid interrupted, slowly pulling the shouji open. She waited there expectantly, and I hesitated before taking a step forward. “Good night, Kohaku, Kirara,” I extended my arms and embraced the boy as Kirara nuzzled my neck. Releasing him, I stood before the monk. My hand reached up slightly, but fell back down when he gaze refused to meet mine. Crestfallen, I simply turned my back, “Sweet dreams, houshi-sama.” After a few steps I heard the shouji close behind me.
Slowly my eyes lifted from the floor to examine the room. It was way too decorated for my liking. Vases rested in every corner of the room, brightly colored wall scrolls of cranes and geishas scattered across the walls, sakura trees with floating petals were carefully burned into the rice paper of the shouji that led outdoors, while a large sculpture of a banzai tree stood at the far end of the room, decorated with golden ornaments and small luminescent paper lanterns. Lastly a foreign rosy glass object was placed around the candle dish mounted to the wall, basking the room in a would-be pleasant shade of magenta. ‘I suppose this is where Kuranosuke-sama intended for me to sleep in the first place.’
Exhausted from the many events of today, I walked over to the spacious futon in the middle of the room and picked up the sleeping yukata provided. Loosening my obi, I let the traveling skirt pool at my feet and shrugged off the yukata when the sides came undone. Once I had the white robe slipped around my shoulders I removed the rest of my traveling garb and crawled into the soft blankets of the futon.
“Comfy,” I whispered to myself, closing my eyes to relish this one single moment of relaxation. ‘I wonder if houshi-sama has a nice room to sleep in.’ My eyes fluttered open at the thought. Why had he behaved so distantly before? I don’t believe I did anything to warrant it; it was the lord who made so many uncalled-for advances, not I. So then why was he acting like this?
I rolled over onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. ‘I remember he was so quiet the first time we came to the Takeda clan. And when we finally did have a chance to talk, all he did was wear that damn grin of his and wish me happiness. I thought we were past those days … ’
My mind trailed back to the encounter we had with Shima and the cat fish. Held captive in the youkai’s clutches, I hadn’t expected the houshi’s reaction to be so … so – aggressive. His assertive assault on the enemy was disarming, and his words sent shivers of helplessness down my spine. Why was now any different?
The cat fish had made a claim on me, Kuranosuke had made a claim on me … were they not the same?
Why couldn’t houshi-sama be the man he was that day at the lake – the man who chilled me in ways I didn’t even know possible and the man I felt proud to call my fiancé? Perhaps that is too much to ask …
-*-
I’m not quite sure then I’d drifted off into sleep, but a sudden creak of the floorboards stirred me back into consciousness. My eyes opened to stare at the patterned shouji, my back turned to the inside hallway where light footfalls could just barely be heard. My hand unnoticeably swept down my side and rested on the hilt of hiraikotsu that lay nearby.
‘Could it be an apparition?’ I pondered, not possessing the spiritual power to identify the being. ‘Surely the lord wouldn’t be so bold as to sneak into my quarters.’ If so, he’d have to deal with 50lbs of hiraikotsu.
There was one last creak before I heard the shouji slide open ever so softly. Immediately I kicked the futon covers off and hoisted hiraikotsu over my head. Poised in a crouching position I swung around to face the prowler. “Who’s there?” I hissed.
The masculine figure jumped somewhat, and finally stepped into the faintly lighted room.
“Hou – houshi-sama …”
He was dressed in a similar yukata as my own, the white fabric catching the pinkish gleam of the candle. I lowered my weapon, confusion playing across my expression. Sure the visit wasn’t as unpleasant as I thought it would be, but it was still unexpected. About to voice my usual suspicions regarding his motives, I decided against it when reading his expression. My shoulders lowered as I stood, and I asked in a quiet voice, “Why are you here?”
“Because I didn’t feel at ease leaving you alone,” he replied almost monotonously, closing the shouji behind him. Casually he stepped to the side and took a cross-legged seat beside the door.
I shifted on my feet, placing hiraikotsu back in its original place on the floor, “That’s unnecessary. I’m perfectly capable of handling myself, as you’ve noticed.”
Despite the solemn air to him he flashed a knowing smile, “Yes, but danger can lurk behind a familiar face.”
“I’m not naïve, houshi-sama,” I insisted angrily, staring intently at the eyes that refused to meet mine. “Whether demon or lord I would have distributed the same punishment.”
My words sent a grimace to his lips, and he grew silent. I wrestled with myself, debating my next course of action. This was so frustrating, why was he being so cold? Gathering my courage I walked the distance between us. As I knelt in front of him my hand came up to rest against his chin, tilting it so I could look into his eyes.
“Houshi …” I couldn’t quite grasp my words, too caught up in the gloom within his gaze, “You can’t possibly think I would stay here with the lord. You doubt my loyalty so much?”
“That’s not it,” he responded, his hands coming to grasp my idle one. “I’m sorry if I led you to believe this was your fault, Sango. I just …” It was uncommon for the monk to fumble for words, and I waited patiently. “The lord … has so much more to offer you. Like-”
“Did you not hear Kohaku earlier?” I interrupted calmly. “I have no desire or need for such things. Just because it is a better life does not mean it will make me happy.”
“I suppose …” he muttered, and gave a sad smile of embarrassment. “Forgive my harshness earlier.” I felt the grip on my hand tighten. “I just can’t stand to see you in the arms of another.”
My heart clenched at the confession, a feeling of empathy rushing over me. My head bowed slightly as I nodded, “Now you know how it feels.”
Swiftly his arms moved to wrap around my middle, crushing me to his chest. With nowhere else to go my arms slipped around his neck in response. “I’m sorry.” I heard him whisper against my hair. Emboldened, I lifted my head and dragged his down gently with a hand to the back of his neck. I brushed my lips against his lightly and, I hoped, consolingly. I wanted to steal his pain away, tell him everything was alright. He responded after a moment of hesitation, leaning in and taking control of the kiss.
It was a few minutes until we broke apart, catching our breaths. “You should get some rest, Sango,” houshi-sama stated, reluctance hidden underneath his tone. “It will be daybreak in an hour or so.”
I looked up at him halfheartedly, and he smiled sincerely, “Don’t worry. I’ll stand guard over you while you sleep. I could even lie in the same bed if you’d like.”
“I don’t think so,” I retorted amusedly, glad to see he was back to his former self. He gave a playful little frown before releasing me from his hold.
I stood and retreated to the futon. Once inside the soft blankets I turned on my side to face the monk. “Good night, houshi-sama.” He nodded in response, lowering his head with closed eyes. I watched him for a moment longer, my eyelids slowly sinking before sleep took hold.
-*-
((I guess I’m doing this in two parts. It’s only halfway done and I’m already finishing page 8. It shouldn’t take me more than two chapters fortunately.))
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