Well, seeing as almost all of my friends profiles have tilted to the more pessimistic side, I have decided to write some happy thoughts to cheer everyone up. Oh and Kim, I have something to say to you. Ahem… FOR GOD’S SAKE KIM THE GLASS IS HALF FULL DEAL WITH IT. Sorry that wasn’t really very happy, yet in a twisted way it was since I said the words “ the glass is half full” and that is considered optimistic. But, I had to get it out of my system. It was inevitable in a way.
Before I get into my regular cheerful self I would like to give an example of what my profile has to say. Today I was smiling and I seemed normal right? Well actually Cyn I was kinda mad at you to say in the least. Actually, I was so angry I wanted to explode, but as you can see, I restrained myself from doing such an unladylike thing and even better, kept a straight face. I was a bit quieter than usual but no one noticed anyway. *sighs*. And Cyn, I don’t mean to be disrespectful or ungrateful in anway, because you know I love you (in a non-lesbian way *quotes kim*) and I appreciate everything you do for me but seriously, what was I supposed to do when you told me to read your note and it said “people getting on my nerves” and my name was on it. Even though my name was crossed out what did you expect me to do? Laugh and say “ Oh Cyn I am SO sorry for getting on your nerves, heres a million dollars do you forgive me now?” Really. I might seem calm and controlled sometimes (ARE YOU KIDDING ME???) but I’m not that good.
And that is what brings me to my next point. I have been very mad at myself lately. I realized that I am not patient enough. For instance, Camie if you have noticed I have been ignoring you lately it is because I am kinda annoyed. I mean sure you found a name for what you have been going through and everyone agrees that there is nothing wrong with being emo but you know what? Just because you theres a name for wanting to kill yourself doesn’t mean its ok. It hurts other people did you know that? That you’ve been hurting me? That if you went off and killed yourself that I would actually feel sad? I know that sounds selfish and I should be comforting you and telling you that everythings all right but I just can’t bring myself to do it. That’s what makes me mad. I’m such a bad friend but I can’t change. It’s too hard. I wish I were more like Kim who just hugs everyone and listens to their problems without trying to think of ways to make them shut up and grow up. Maybe you can teach me Kim? Would you?
sorry i have to edit this later.
chasity_dark_queen · Fri Jul 13, 2007 @ 02:53am · 2 Comments |