Day 1
One day, God was sitting in his Divine Sitting Room while his son and his friend's were celebrating Jesus's 1 year birthday party in the next Divine Room.
God soon grew bored listening to them carry on. So, he does what every diety does when they're bored, He picked His nose. Yes...God does it too. God dug His Holy finger around in His Holy nose for a good 5 minutes. When He pulled His finger out, there sat upon it a gigantic sphere of shiny boogers. God chuckled, amused.
His son, Jesus, walked in and saw the massive ball of goo. "I want to eat the massive ball of goo upon your finger!" God made a disgusted face and shook His head sadly.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" He asked his son.
Jesus, taken aback, instantly shouted very loudly, "Daddy said a bad word!" And proceded to run around in a circle.
God once again turned to the window He was sitting next to and flicked the glob into the Deep Void of space with a giant flick of His finger.
There the ball of goo floated, spinning in space. Jesus tried to run after it, but soon realized he couldn't fit through the window. Dishearted, he returned to his birthday party.
God watched the blob of shiny goo, and decided that He needed a vacationing spot to get away to.
So, thus the Earth was created.
Day 2
While God was contemplating His new vacation spot, Jesus and the others carried on with the party. The Holy Moldy Taco had gotten his fill of the chaotic party, so he quietly sliped into the corner and fell asleep on the Divine Holy Beanbags.
Now, we all know that the dumbest thing to do at a diety's birthday party, is be the first one to fall asleep. Expecially when the Divine Holy Beer is being served. Well, the Holy Moldy Taco did not know this fact.
Minutes later, everyone else had their fill of the party and they in turn all collapsed. All except Jesus and Bubba Budda.
Bored, Jesus sat down beside The Holy Moldy Taco and started to count the ceiling tiles. "1...2....3....42....H.....8...9...10....." and so on and so forth. An hour passed. "...100,001....100,002....100,003. OH MY GOD! There's no ceiling!"
From God's Divine Sitting Room, God yelled, "I told you not to use my name in vain! God damnit!"
Jesus pouted and yelled back, "But you did!"
Bubba Budda had been standing by the window flicking little bits of paper out of the window, suddenly spoke up. "Its because he IS God you dumbass."
Jesus rolled his eyes and continued to pout. He suddenly noticed a fuzzy floating in the air. He was instantly amused. "FUZZY!" It slowly floated down and landed on the side of The Holy Moldy Taco.
Jesus was sad because he couldn't watch the fuzzy float anymore. So, he picked the fuzzy up and attempted to flick it back into the air. But, he accidentaly picked up a piece of The Holy Moldy Taco's Holy Moldy Lettuce.
Disgusted by his find, Jesus instantly flicked the Moldy Lettuce across the room. Since the room had no ceiling, the tiny piece of Moldy Lettuce flew up...up...and far away. Until it landed on the sky of the newly formed Earth. It lost its green color and suddenly took the form of a fluffy cloud.
"The fuzzy!" Jesus screamed. He instantly jumped up and started to leap out of the window after his fuzzy. Buba Budda rolled his eyes and caught Jesus before he totally flew out the window. "But the FUZZY!" Jesus screamed in his face. Bubba Budda promptly put a piece of duct tape over his mouth and sat him back down beside the sleeping Holy Moldy Taco.
Angered, Jesus started pulling off more Holy Moldy Lettuce and flicking them at the newly formed Earth. Bubba Budda saw what Jesus was doing and slaped him in the face, "You're turning the Holy Moldy Taco into swiss cheese! Stop that!"
And thus the clouds and sky was formed the second day.
Day 3
A week after The Holy Moldy Taco's recovery, God decided to take all the young ones out on a trip to his new vacation world. God didn't have time to create land, so Earth was still completely covered with water. When they arrived they all put their towels on the clouds to keep dry, using them as towel racks.
After several hours of swimming and fooling around, Jesus decided he wanted to tan his hot bod so he could be someones Senor Sexy Pants. But, considering there was no land to tan on, he had no place to lay. So, trying to solve this problem, he took a towel from one of the clouds and tried to lay it on the water.
He tried to jump on the floating towel, but as soon as he placed his hand on it, it sank to the bottomless depths of the endless ocean. Jesus watched it sink and started to cry. Then he realized that there were more towels on the clouds.
So, naturally, he stole Bubba Budda's towel and placed it on the water. Again the towel sank. He proceeded to take and use all of the towels they had brought with them. The last one he set down in the water gently and slowly. This time instead of jumping on it, he tried to sneak up on it. "I'm going to get you...." He whispered quietly to himself.
This time he leaped out of the water like a dolphin and did a belly flop on the towel. The towel, taking this as another opportunity to get Jesus before he drowned any more towels, wrapped around him and began to drag him down under the ocean.
God, who had been watching him the whole time, shook his head and said, "Oh no....not again." He swam over and pulled the flailing Jesus out of the water. "What the hell are you doing?!"
"Again with that word!" Jesus screamed in his face. God threw him back into the ocean. Then God, finally realizing what Jesus was trying to create, made the land.
And thus the Land and Plants were created the third day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Holy crap that was long.... sweatdrop Sorry bout that. xp
Go here to read The last 4 days of creation
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