• alone...
    Sometimes I think I walk alone. Like no one is every there beside me to help me along in life. My dad hasn't always been there and when he has its always been awkward. My mom and me don't get along...we fuss and fight and it hurts.
    I felt so alone at one time that I used to cut myself. I loved the high of it. Loved the feeling of hope and helpfullness in those first few seconds of high. I spiraled into depresion even more when my 6th grade sweatheart let me go because he moved. Cutting became a regular thing for me. It even got to the point that i used to suck my own blood because it let the high last longer.
    My all time BFF Holley found me cutting one day and it became her secret too. I used to sit in a corner alone in my room and cut my thumbs and the backs of my hands with a sharp shaving razor...i never slit my wrists for the fear of bleeding to death.
    Soon my mother found out and i went through non-stop counsiling after that. She was always scared she would wake up and find me dead. I'm no longer cutting myself even though i still think about it sometimes. I have a new bf now...my first one since the brake-up and everything seems ok for now. Holley and I aren't as close but close enough...
    I'm still a little depressed and I know its only because i'm alone...