• I worry so much about the insignificant. I'm watching Mamma Mia! at the moment and the frustration it causes me exceeds the joy. I imagine how I would act were I in the film, and my emotions leap from frustration over my stupidity, desiring to burn the set to the ground, to despair over having such terrible thoughts.

    A friend told me this is normal. Others, however, are not as severely affected by these feelings as I am. I blame them for my social awkwardness. These flaws may also be responsible for my creativity, but the feeling of vulnerability posed by them is hard to bear.

    I'm focused either on myself or some world I created in my head. I forget the importance of those around me. I might prefer it, in fact, if people stopped existing, even as I recognize how much they inspire me. If I manage to think before engaging people, this isn't a problem, but social situations often catch me by surprise. My personality ranges from awkward and giggly to still and apathetic.

    Recently, I dreamed I trapped my cat in a corner. Its hair was shed, and it cried for mercy as I swung a chainsaw at it. I wasn't able to kill or harm it, but I felt like I had. "Why am I doing this? The cat doesn't deserve this. I'm doing something terrible." I said as I woke myself up.

    Lucidity in dreams depends on alert triggers. The fact that senseless violence turned that dream lucid is a remarkable feat for me, and a first. The power of my sub-conscious proves palpable, however, as I awake and find the dream still running through my head, screaming louder than any conscious thought of mine could...

    The picture referenced was undoubtedly inspired by those thoughts.