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= Pritchard's Life as The Advent Master = I am Alexander Joseph Pritchard. That is self-descriptive.

Community Member
Some jokes.
So I'm trying to be funny now and would love some feedback. This is a copy of a session I had with my friend, so there's some ups and downs.


A poker player's favorite snack?

A grumpy old tree who hated children had a change of heart once he had his own. When asked why, he said, they grow on you.

If a priest worked in a kitchen, what would he be?
The friar.

What do you do if you catch fire at a Metallica concert? Stop. Rock. And Roll.

A man was put in charge of our border's defense. Later on, ten thousand illegal immigrants were found. When asked what happened, he said, "Oh! Defense? I thought you said de-fence!"

A while ago, some pimps formed their own football team. There's always eleven players on the field.

There's a sports team made up entirely of musicians. It has twelve key players.

Nine terrorists were on trial for murder. The first five were sentenced to death then given their rights. Three more were sentenced to life in prison then given their rights. The last was sentenced to Guantanamo. He would have been given his rights, but there was no more room on the paper.

What's a locksmith's favorite band? 3 doors down.

What's a logician's favorite style of comedy? Analytical Humor.

If cats ruled the world, what crime would skyrocket? Littering.

How did the rabbit become so apathetic? He let his care rot.

Dammit. That's what the beavers said when the river overflowed.

All people are ninjas in their sleep. They're just under cover.

What does a dumb dinosaur say when he sees his reflection? Merawr!

What do you call a floor tile that knows when it's dirty? A taddle tile.

What do you call a guitarist who refuses to play with his thumb? Picky.

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