• The Leprechaun And The Loan Shark

    Once upon a time in a land far beneath the earth there lived a leprechaun named Lenny. Now, Lenny had a little problem. When asked about it, Lenny maintained that it was all his parents' fault. "I didn't ask to be born a leprechaun," confided Lenny, "but I was, and if anyone is to blame for that, it's going to mom and pop."

    You see, all leprechauns like gold, but Lenny loved it. The weight of gold, the smell of it, the way it sparkles in the light. So one day Lenny got the idea that if he started gambling and winning he would have even more gold. No more chasing after rainbows for him! I won't go too far, he thought to himself, and if I start to lose I can just stop.

    So the next night Lenny went to a bar that was the preferred spot for poker games after a hard day at work. That night was no different. When Lenny strolled into the bar every booth and table was already occupied and most of the games were already in progress, but Lenny spotted one table where a dwarf and an elf were just sitting down while a centaur stood near the edge of the table.

    Seeing that there was one more seat at the table, the leprechaun walked over. "Do you mind if I play?" he asked. "Of course, if you're expecting someone else I completely understand."

    The elf, after receiving a nod from both of his companions, replied, "We don't have a problem with that, assuming that you have money to bet of course."

    Lenny reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag of four hundred gold pieces. "Is this enough?" he asked the other three, who were now wide eyed at the prospect of winning that much money. The elf nodded, Lenny sat down, and the centaur dealt the cards.

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    Two hours later Lenny left the elf, centaur, and dwarf dumbfounded as Lenny walked out of the bar—whistling— and carrying all of their money.

    For a while everything went great. Lenny became the richest leprechaun in the land through gambling. But one day when he decided to try his luck at pool and lost, Lenny became obsessed: He played game after game of pool until he had lost everything.

    Finally Lenny went to get a loan from Mattius the giant—planning to use the money to win back all of his gold—but Lenny gambled away the entire loan.

    When the same thing happened three more times, Mattius became very angry and demanded his money. When Lenny told the giant that he was unable to pay, Mattius became enraged.

    "You insignificant worm!" roared Mattius. "You have borrowed ten thousand gold pieces from me in the last six monthes and now you come to tell me that you can't pay!"

    Um… yes?" Lenny squeaked. The giant glared at him and began to move towards the leprechaun. "Please Mattius, sir! Don't hurt me! I'll pay you back, honest!" When Mattius continued to walk toward him, Lenny tried again. "I'll do anything, but please, just don't hurt me!"

    The giant stopped. "Anything?" Lenny nodded. "Very well then, here is what you'll do. You are going to bring me valuable items that I can sell. When I have made the equivalent of your debt, I will let you off the hook. Is this understood?" Another nod. "Good! Now get to work."

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    After six months of robbing his homeland blind and still not repaying his debt, Lenny decided to try his luck in the human world…

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    "That is, like, the fifth time that my camera has fallen under that chair cushion!" squealed the girl as she returned to the library. She was promptly shushed by the librarians. "I swear," she continued in an angry whisper, "that there is, like, a leprechaun hiding in that chair and stealing my stuff!"

    "Well," said her friend, "you're a writer. Why don't you write a story about your leprechaun friend?"

    "You know what? I will!" replied the first girl. "He's probably in debt to a loan shark or something."

    Lenny, hiding safely beneath the seat of the chair's cushion, was amazed as the two high school girls walked away. "How did they know?" he asked no one in particular, and went to return his days haul to Mattius.