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A/N: I wrote this at Fictionpress, but it seems it hasn't have much views...so...Why not share it here. Alright! Enjoy guys! biggrin
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Is it really LOVE?
April 13, 2010.
1:12 AM
Right now, I am writing this because I'm lonely. I was reading a one-shot at this site. It struck me. That certain one shot. But I'm glad, that Graduation is over. I am glad. I'll never see you again.
In my previous years of studying in the smallest elementary school of the whole place, I was always teased and ignored. Everyone thought of me as an Otaku Freak, until when we first met.
You were my seatmate, and you were fairly smart, but you were not fairly smart to tie your own shoes. You always ask me to tie it for you, and so I did. I also taught you how to tie it. You thanked me, and I smiled. Then suddenly, we were teased. Our classmates made rumors about us that we are a couple. I know it was just a rumor, and will last for 75 days, but I under estimated it. It lasted for 6 years until our graduation day. At first, I'll just cry and run, but lately, I just ignore it. But, whenever you were teased, you always chased them. I don't know why, but I do know you want to take it back.
I heard you were afraid of numbers. I always chuckled, but I can tell why. But right now, I'm glad you are not afraid anymore, and somehow…I hated you for that.
You were started to become the top of the class. I was a bit happy, but mostly sad. My father's dreams of me being on the top were ruined for the year, but I never give up. There are more chances…and somehow…I hated you for that.
More years have pass, I started to avoid you, and you started to avoid me too. I wonder why, but whenever I get closer to you, our classmates would tease us again. And somehow…I hated you for that.
But…
Last year, you were showing some "feelings" towards me. One time, when I arrived early at the school before the departure for the Field Trip (they say that first come, first serve, so I have to arrive early to pick my and my little sister's seats), you were also early, along with few schoolmates. You where pointing into a seat besides yours and said, "sit there!" you suggested it. I thought deeply. I hated you at the time, but then you were sitting besides a teacher that I usually joke around. I wanted to seat near the teacher so that I can joke around with him. And it doesn't hurt to sit with a classmate (because I always sit besides my sister…) so I took the suggestion. My little sister sat in front of me. You were so happy. I don't know why…and somehow…I hated you for that.
At the Christmas party at school, you said that I should come early and meet you in a certain place. And so I did. When we met, you gave me a little wrapped gift without a tag and said, "Please, don't tell the others…" I didn't unwrap it. I was anxious, but I did shake the present for a couple of times. It sounded like a bell. When I got home, I unwrapped it. It was a bracelet. I smiled while I looked at it, and wore it. Somehow…I hated you for that.
The more and more days pass, the more I hated you. But…I don't understand…what kind of hatred?
At the time you were announced as Valedictorian, I wasn't happy. I didn't applause or anything. I just stared at you. Somehow…I hated you for that.
Now that Graduation ended, you gave a look. You were saying something, but you can't express it in words. Then you walked away with all of those medals and awards around your neck. And somehow…I hated you for that.
I don't understand…what kind of hatred? Why do I hate him? What are my real feelings towards him? Is it really Hatred? Or is it really Love? Do I have a crush on him, all these years? Or maybe, more than a crush? Love? I always vow to myself that I wanted to be single forever, not falling in love with someone, and devote myself to writing stories. Love Stories. But why love stories? Whenever my teachers read my one shots about love, they keep telling me that the couple has unique love between them. But, I vow to myself that I wanted to be single forever. How come I know about it? I know that I love reading romance and learned a little, but they keep telling me, mine was different. Is it because of you?
I don't know my real feelings towards you, but all I know about you is that, you have a crush on me, or rather, you love me. I can tell from the time I first tied your shoes up until you gave me a final look, you loved me.
Is it maybe, that I hated you, because you loved me? The reason why you avoid me, is because to prevent me from growing depressed? The reason why you took the chance of us being alone, is because it is the only chance we can speak together? What is it?! That look, the look that you gave me, what does it mean?! I wanted to know! I REALLY WANTED TO KNOW!!!
2:01 AM.
This one-shot is coming to a close, and I spent almost an hour to type this, Staying late at night, and yet, I still didn't realize it. My real feelings towards you. Soon, I'll make this a manga and share it to the world. And once you read it, maybe when you have a wife and kids, you will start laughing and remembering. Since April 7, I can't figure it out. But all I know about you is that you love me. And soon, you'll love someone else, and forget about me. While I, on the other hand, am writing countless of love stories in pieces of stationery, sealing them with envelopes, and hiding them in a small box, and bury it into the backyard of my house. I kept doing it everyday. Maybe, just a maybe…
…that my real feelings towards you, is love.
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A/N: All done! Thanks for reading!!
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Title:
Is it really L O V E ?
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Artist:
Editia La Rushinea
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Description:
I hated you but what kind of hatred do I have towards you? what are my REAL feelings towards you? Is it hatred, or is it love? Do I hate you because you love me? Why do I hate you? The Author's POV.
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Date:
06/18/2010
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Tags:
love
angst
drama
fiction
reallife
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