• The wind blasted my face as I stood there staring at the sky, thunderstruck at the true meaning of the words that replayed over and over in my head...
    I really like you, but I'm a wreck. I can't get close to anyone. Not now, maybe not ever. I'm waiting on someone else. She won't ever love me back, but maybe you can find someone new, that will treat you better than me. You love some one that isn't worth loving. I'm sorry.
    That text said it all. Texting had gotten me into this mess, and boy did I want out. He didn't want me back, he just wanted her, that was all that stuck in my mind that second. Her. That girl in which was help all his affection, two wasted years of his time and patience, all of that got him into a mess that he hated. And now I was in that mess too. Because i had to say the three words that told him to make that decision, to break up with me, I never knew that three words would ruin the best relationship that I had ever been in, I didnt know until then that i truly loved him, with all my heart and soul, that he mattered so much as to make not only my head hurt, but my soul, my body, and my thoughts. It all rained down on me with such crystal clarity that I wished for him to just forget we ever knew eachother, that we ever met, that I had chosen a different school. This hurt bad, no, worse than bad. This hurt like I was in a frying pan, and i couldn't help but want to sit and soak, like a twinkie, being over heated and bubbling on the inside. I wished for death, I wished so passionately that the covers of my pillows would be soaked that night, I would be the wreck that had never been seen before. He was my down fall, and in that fall, he had simply watched as i hit the ground and collapsed into the puddle of weak and shivering waterthat I am now. I hated him, but I keep crawling back. There's something wrong with that, and in that, me. I hated him.