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Running and panting Avalon kept running away from her oncoming pursuer. She had to escape, just had to make it back to her baby sister, after all what does she have to live for other than Jessica? The dark forest should have been impossible for Avalon to see, some how she could though. Tripping over a root her head hit the ground hard, feeling the warm and wet sticky blood running down her pale shimmering blond hair, as it clouded her vision she blacked out.
Wakeing up to the bright wintery sunlight Avalon looked around. Wasn't she just bleeding not five minutes ago? Realizing it was just a dream she looked outside her window and found that a light snow had settled overnight and was covering the ground outside. She jumped out of bed and ran down the hall to her little sister Jessica's room. Bursting the door open Jessica woke up to Avalon shouting and jumping on her bed. "Guess what? You aren't going to school today!" As she sang out. "Your staying home with me and playing in the snow!" Excited Jessica got out of bed and ran down stairs to get breakfast ready. Avalon walked back to her room so she could get dressed, as she came in last nights dream came to her in a rush. Holding her head, Avalons focus went in and out view. Then in a second it all went away leaving Avalon feeling dizzy and light headed, like the after bite of a vampire. Quickly dressing Avalon went down stairs to help Jessica make them something to eat. After they ate Avalon sent Jessica back up to get dressed while she did some house work.
Awhile later the girls came in from playing out in the snow hungry, tired, and covered in wet snow. As they got into dry clothes and fixed themselves some food the doorbell rang out. Avalon, wondering who it could be. She went to the door and opened it to find a tall dark haired man. Avalon stood in short next to him as she glanced up. With a simple greeting she smiled, "Hello, how can I help you?" Jessica herself looking like Avalon, only with light blue bright shinning eyes as opposed to Avalon's green ones, long light blond hair, and she to was just as short. Peaking from behind a column Jessica watched her sister talk to the man. Speaking to Avalon the man introduced himself as Arthur, a darkly grin spread across his face as he spoke in a low tone. "I am simply here to wonder if your dear sister has gone to school today, as you see I am from her school." Avalon replied quickly. "Why is it, as I note, you
are not properly dressed as a school administrator for they wear uniforms do they not?" "Alas," he spoke, "They do and as you have noted I am not, but can you answer my inquirey or leave me here to stand alone in the cold with a wondering mind?" Avalon spoke with intensity. "For your malvoent question I am not at liberty to answer it." At that the man nodded his head, "Very well I can inderstand that but..." A puff of smoke appeared sending Avalon into a coughing fit rendering herself useless, she blanked out being herself no longer. Jessica screamed for her sister as Arthur took her sister, leaving the door hanging open with a slight breeze from the cold hard packed snow falling ever so slightly in the bright wintery sunlight of the afternoon setting sun.
- by Celltalk13 |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 11/29/2009 |
- Skip
- Title: The Vampire Haunting
- Artist: Celltalk13
- Description: This isn't all of it but I just wanted to see how well it would do here, I accpet all comments and critique. If you do happen to want to know what else happens in the story I would be more than happy to write it out.
- Date: 11/29/2009
- Tags: vampire haunting
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Comments (7 Comments)
- CrystalizedSweets - 08/01/2011
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helpful tip vampire only speak like today's people do if they are from this time, if not then they like to speak in the time of when they were turned UNLESS they are trying to blend in.
its great other than grammer as people as said. And dont be afraid to play around with words a bit.
5/5
vote me? http://www.gaiaonline.com/arena/writing/fiction/vote/?entry_id=102582171#title#title#title#title - Report As Spam
- EternalMoshing - 02/15/2010
- i like it but it does need gone over. 4/5
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- Celltalk13 - 12/13/2009
- Thanks for the helpful tips everyone, I'll try to be more of a grammer nazi in the future.
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- Saga Shadow - 12/11/2009
- I agree with Irako. Be a grammar nazi, always.
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- Vlazusu Druce - 12/08/2009
- nice. I do fanfictions for mainly Kingdom Hearts.
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- Irako of the Desert - 12/06/2009
- Hmm... I think you need to work on the consistency of the language. Think of how people talk today. Think of how they talked in the time period you're aiming for. Think of how they would act and feel. Writing good fiction requires that you can get inside their head. Characters are living, breathing things, even if they only exist on paper. Making them behave realistically makes the story believable, even if it's about vampires and magic. Also, double-check grammar!
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- mabel21 - 12/04/2009
- you so should write turn of the century vampire books. youd be amazing at it.
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