• Have you ever had a bad nightmare? A nightmare so bad that you've woke up crying, and screaming into your pillow? Perhaps you have. Maybe you have them once in a while. Maybe rarely. Me, I've lived that nightmare.
    Did I tell you I had a girlfriend? She is the most beautiful person I have ever met. We hooked up one year ago. God, that was amazing. Love at first sight, I tell you. We just had one look at each other, and BAM, it was love. Pure, unconditional, altruistic love. I was actually surprised that she took me, emo slumbag that I was. But I'm getting sidetracked. No. This is relevant.
    We cared for each other like the moon and the stars. Hell, like the sun and the moon. In perfect harmony. Sure, we had our disagreements, but we always got over them. We never left angry. We always made sure the other was happy. Have you ever been in something like that? Oh man, it's amazing. It's like, going to sleep, knowing that you'll never have another nightmare or bad dream again. It's like having alzheimers, and finding out there's a cure. And those don't even come close. Now let me ask you something. Have you ever lost that?
    I did. And I'll never forget that day. Never.
    It was autumn, about mid-November. Traffic that day? Absolutely crazy. Not, like, busy crazy. You never find that in my city. More like a, "Go go go go go", kind of busy. People are like that here. Always on the ******** move. And that day? It was like a ******** beehive. Maybe the fact that the big game was coming up that evening contributed. I'll never know. But it was crazy. There were fifteen reports of red light related accidents that day. Me and her, we just happened to be in one of those messes.
    We had just come from the mall. What we were doing there, I don't even know anymore. Some told me we were there to eat. Others that we just wanted to hang with a coffee. One lunatic told me we were there to pick up condoms. s**t, we're not even married yet. Anyways. We were coming from the mall. From the mall to my house, you have to cross a street. Luckily, that street is monitered by a set of crossing lights. Re, green, yellow, the whole deal. So we come to it. We have the red light, so we wait. Eventually we get the walk light, so we go. We were half-ways across the street. That was when all Hell broke loose.
    Tires screeched to our left. Some idiot apparently didn't notice us, and decided to run the light. I heard it, and saw a nice big car running right at us. So, what do I do? What any sensible boyfriend would do. I grab her, pull her to me, and put myself in between her and the car. So, put two and two together, and you know what happens, right? Wrong. The car swerves right into the oncoming lane. It zips right past us. As luck would have it, a car happened to be there. So, it swerves to avoid the other car, and comes right at us. Enter two and two. I turn us again, and the car hits me full on the back, sending us flying to the ground. so, now you have two civilians and a car in the middle of an intersection. I, having just been hit by a car, was near to blacking out right now. I heard a bunch of crunching of metal as cars and vans and trucks hit each other, and a scream as my girlfriend is caught in the middle of chaos. Eventually, I heard a noise that chills my spine to this day. A grunt of pain from my girlfriend. I open my eyes, to find her beneath the wheel of a van.
    The wheel had rolled right into the center of her back, just over her stomach. He was half propped up on her arms, groping for me. I panicked, and somehow crawled to her. I held her hand in mine as we both panicked, looking into each other's eyes. I looked into hers wanting to tell her one thing. It's going to be ok, you'll make it through this. Bullshit. She looking into mine as if she saw death himself staring at her. She was scared. Not that I blame her. I would be too.
    Then, she closes her eyes, and inhales sharply. Me, genius that I am, had no idea what was going on. Finally, she screams. That scream haunts me to this day. I think of it, and my eyes tear up. I hear a couple pops from her back, and reality hits me. Vans are ******** heavy. I hear one big pop, followed by a bone-chilling crunch as the van falls down, crushing her beneath. She gives out a scream that chilled my blood, sending curdles shivering up me spine. Tears fall from her eyes and mine as we search each other. She coughs up blood, I cry in agony. Her eyes bore into me with a look that screamed one thing. Don't let me die. I only stared back. I held her hand in my right, as if I could keep her close forever. With my other, I take her face in mine. She buries it into my hand, tears streaming from her eyes, blood from her mouth and nose. I held her face in my hand when she left me. I held her face as she ******** died. All I remember is staring into her face and screaming as I lay in the street, my hand still on her cheek. I remember it. I see it like a ******** picture. I'll never forget it. I'll live with that for the rest of my life.
    Every night I have nightmares of that day. Every night I wake up crying, screaming into my pillow. The doctors say it will take a long time for me to get over the shock. I don't think I ever will.
    I've wanted many things in my life. Right now I want just one thing. I want to hold her hand. I want to wrap my arms around her. I want to feel her body against mine. I want to press my lips to hers. I want to look into her eyes. I want her. I want her back
    Right now, there's only one way I'm going to get that.