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Wisps of her long hair tickled her cheeks as the breeze floated by. The rock beneath her feet was smooth, yet it held so much meaning. She heard the delighted squeals of a young girl dipping her toes in the oncoming wave, but when it came too close for comfort, she would scamper away, laughing. The squeals struck at the womens heart painfully. A memory flooded her mind, and took over her being. A small lightly tanned face smiled broadly at her, then dashed into the waves. The small person poked her head out of the water just enough to laugh at her and dive back under the waves. The women smiled, thinking of how wonderful her daughter was. At that moment, the waves seemed to grow a little larger, and it struck her that the wind had continued to pick up from when they had first arrived at the quiet beach. She dismissed the little flare of panic that had started deep within her chest. Her daughter knew how to swim, even with large waves. But still, those waves looked heavy, and she knew the undertow to be very unusally strong. Just then, a massive wave gathered, and crashed hard upon the sand. The water, which had been previously only tickling her toes, washed over her knees.
She looked up to spot her daughter glancing fearfully at her mother, before another huge wave crashed on her small head. The women splashed throught the water, and dove under the first wave. As her head broke the surface, she looked around, eyes wide, searching for her child. But another wave had started to crash upon her before she could lay eyes on her beloved. She tumbled along the bottom, wrenching her eyes open, peering through the sandy waters. There was no sign of the girl. Her heart racing, she kicked her way to the top, just as another wave slammed her back to the bottom. She needed air! Clawing back up, she gasped and spluttered in the precious air before diving under another unusally giant wave. As she swam past the breaking line, her eyes darting around hungrily for any sign of her daughter. But there was none. Her heart about to leap out of her chest, she struck out, hard meaningful strokes until she reached the rocks.
Her hands slipping on the smooth surface, she scrabbled for a handhold, not noticing the hand that had already started slipping from its own handhold, only feet away. Finally the woman scrambleld up onto a rock, turning around to get a better look at the shore. She climbed higher and deeper into the rocks, always keeping a desperate eye out for the girl that she so loved.
Tears filling her eyes, she looked down at the rocks, only to find a blonde halo of hair gently bobbing on the surface. Screaming her daughter's name, she bounded down the rocks and dropped into the water next to her daughters floating body. With a new strength she had never experienced before, she hoisted the child's body up out of the water. But she knew, even before the girl's face breached the surface, that her daughter was dead. As the girl lay sprawled out on the rocks, the mother's tears fell like crystals. With the blood from her scratched body making small rivers down the side of the rock, only to disappear from sight, the girls soul floated from the body, wrapping itself around the mourning woman. She looked up to the sky and screamed, all of her anguish pouring from her body through her voice.
The woman tore open her eyes, tears streaming down her face, her heart burning with pain from the memory. She dropped to her knees surrendering to the pain. She slowly slipped from the rock and into the water, the pain immobolizing her.
A week later, a man found a womans body washed up on shore, perfectly intact, with a look on her face of pure happiness. She had joined her daughter.
- by HottButler |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 08/12/2009 |
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- Title: Memories
- Artist: HottButler
- Description: Hey so i wrote this in a 5-minute time frame that we were given. Please comment and tell me what you liked about the piece and what you didnt like. But please remember that this piece is SUPPOSED to be sad, so dont say, "I dont like the ending becuse it is sad" I actually really like writing so i want productive feedback. Thank you!! I really appreciate it!!
- Date: 08/12/2009
- Tags: memories
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Comments (2 Comments)
- Sam Olive - 09/22/2022
- Very Good!
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- ShatterHeartedAya - 08/16/2009
- Very nice. It has a bit of deep meaning, obviously, and the only suggestion I have to make is to tone down a few of the over-used similes, and maybe try something new? You don't need to listen to me, just giving feedback. But overall, 5/5
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