• There once was a young boy named Rupert. Rupert was a little p***k. He would pick on other children and then steal their pets so he could keep them to himself. Rupert would play pranks on adults, most commonly on the elderly, his pranks always caused the old people to fall and break their hip bones. Rupert liked the color green and enjoyed eating prunes. One day, Rupert went to the zoo, saw animals, and stole a pair of monkey underwear from the gift shop. Rupert grew up to be a very unpleasant man as well, he enjoyed throwing things at people. One fateful day, Rupert climbed a mountain and was attacked by a rabid mountain lion.

    Moral of the story: Beware of Mountain Lions