• Sitting on the love seat, watching tv, a show about a suicidal girl comes over the air. I quickly shut of the television and stand up to stretch. I turn towards my front window to see that darkness blanket over the earth. The street lamps outside flicker then pierce through the pitch black blanket that brings me hell every night.
    I turn back and walk through my kitchen up to my room, grabbing the little orange sock monkey off the stairs, I skip every other step ascending, to my room on the right. I push open the tanned door and look at the pig hole I call my room, the air is stale in my room and my mother would puke if she saw it. I let out a small chuckle.
    I step over the little kid gate we put up so the dogs can't get in my room, and close the door. I lay on the full size bed that is clouded with multicolored sheets and hold the little orange sock monkey up, "Hey socks." I coo to my child hood play thing, " I can trust you huh?" I ask tears springing to my eyes as the pain of what had happened to me came back.
    I turn over and grab the pills under my bed, i tapped them under my mattress.
    I pull them out and tip up the bag, letting the round 14 pills fall in my hand, "More than enough huh?" I said holding them out for my little orange friend, the monkey smiled at Me and winked then resumed its frozen state.
    Smiling, I wink back, Grab him by the little hands and run to the bathroom. Sipping water from the faucet i finish them off one by one and lay on the bathroom floor. The dizziness hits me hard and i let out a scream as a dark cloud of gray smacks me, "What is wrong with you?" It screams, it hisses under its breath the wheezing is unbearable for my now very sensitive ears. Sweat breaks along the back of my neck as my 'nitrogen' i like to call it circulates from my blood stream to my pounding heart. "Get up." the voice wheezes now pleading.
    The black cloaks not only muffles its face from my view but from my sight, I let my head loll the side and let out a small cough, vomit ejects from my mouth in a small stream down the side of my face, Chicken Alfredo, tastes bad. The figure grabs my collar and shakes me. The words are loud but I can't make them out, I try to open my mouth to say I don't understand, but I can't speak. The bathroom fan is rotating as my little brother stands over my now dead body, His eyes are red from being scared and crying. I am dead and he watched me kill myself. Blood comes up in the next things of vomit as he hugs himself close to my chest and whimpers. 'I am not dead yet.' I want to scream, 'why are you doing this to him you ******** up.' I yell at myself. He is the dark figure. My little brother watches me as I began to die. The 'Nitrogen' taking full affect. He jumps up at my increased heart beat and runs to the phone, "too late" I want to scream but my lips won't allow so my eyes close. he lets out a scream and yells to my mom. I can hear her in the background. I hear My oldest brother come up stairs and see me. He grabs me and shakes. I smile silently as he holds me, "we need to take her to the hospital"
    He grabs me and lifts me up in a baby, I open my eyes weakly, "socks" I moan and grab for my monkey, he is reaching up for me. My brothers don't notice, they just lean down and let me grab my monkey, Socks smiles apologetically and hugs me. I hug my monkey.
    They take me to the hospital and pump my stomach. The tar over kicks the 'Nitrogen' Socks sits on my lap as I puke up black liquid. "this is the fifth time she has been in here" the lady says as the 'Nitro' is clear from my veins. They send me to the same room and bring the same flowers, "Won't be the last either" socks muses to me and smiles I smile back, My demented sock monkey loves me!