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Chapter one- Immune
"Hurry James you must leave once the bacteria takes over me I'll be out of control." said Docter Hellsin. "I can't where will I go? what will I do?" I said.
"Listen boy, you will run as fast as you can as far as you can you will protect yourself you will only travel during the day you will hide at night you will survive you are immune ." Docter Hullsin said all in one breath.
"Go it's starting too take over leave now!" He said threw his teeth. I ran out of the hospital. I kept running. I am not sure how long I ran for. I only knew I had to get as far as I could mabie I would make it to Georgia before the bacteria did.
I was so tierd. The sun was starting to set. I had to find somwhere to stay. I climbed up a neerbye tree. I climbed as high as I could. It was very uncomftrurbal, but i was not rely conserned with that. I was asleep before I could give it a second thought.
I woke up when i heard rustling from the bushes below me. I looked down to see a girl trying to climb the tree was I asleep or was this real. She looked up and waved "Hello up there my name is Erin."
- Title: Immune
- Artist: Rhaego1
- Description: This is the firt of a six chapter story im wrighting. this is about a boy named James he is the only surviver of a dises that is sweeping the country. When he meets a girl named Erin. They travel together. Hope you like it. feel free to post.
- Date: 03/10/2009
- Tags: immune
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Comments (3 Comments)
- Help The Bombardier - 03/25/2009
- Please check your spelling and grammar. This is almost unreadable. A little proofreading goes a long way.
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- Yoshimitzo - 03/19/2009
- I liked the way how you incoporated the main charcters, within the the 1st chapter, for which you produced in your short story. The only constructive criticism, i would have to mention, would be use of grammar etc. Overall i thought it was a good attempt, at writting the short story and i wish you can produce more storys! smile
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- Zoe of your sin - 03/10/2009
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its a good idea but its pretty choppy and some words are spelled wrong but good idea,
my story twisted twin please read
part1
http://gaiaonline.com/arena/writing/fiction/vote/?entry_id=101179143#title
part 2
http://gaiaonline.com/arena/writing/fiction/vote/?entry_id=101181293#title
part 3
http://gaiaonline.com/arena/writing/fiction/vote/?entry_id=101183347#title - Report As Spam