Could it be?

• Artist: Foxvampire_Sapphire
• Description: This was something I thought of for a story, this is how far I got for the preface. Let me know what you think.
• Date: 11/04/2008
• Tags: could

Those eyes that stare at me like a blood thirsty hunter. As if they are wanting me, wanting my blood. Waiting to strike me down, till I draw my last breath. It seems all I could do was run, run as fast as I could. Even that wouldn't stop the hunter from wanting my last breath/ His eyes determined to kill me.
I run into a dead end trying to catch my breath, I could feel the hunters eyes on me. I turn around and his already next to me. Is this really how I am going to die? I have dreamed my death, it was nothing like this. I stare into the hunters eyes as I wait for my death. The last thing I remember was feeling his breath against my neck.

Comments

[Transcendant]

I like it, though the reader may be confused by "that smile I loved" as it stands out from "..run as fast as I could." I could see this as her memory of the event, maybe you could add something before the beginning, to describe where she was when she felt his eyes on her... just a suggestion. Comment back? ^^