Comments (7 Comments)
- NAGATO UZUMAKl - 06/26/2014
- What Librarian said. You are moving too fast scene to scene. Also, if this is actually yours then very good
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- TheNewLibrarian - 10/07/2011
- Also, from a writer's standpoint, the story is too jumpy. It's like you're trying to rush it. Slow down and work on your skills.
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- TheNewLibrarian - 10/07/2011
- *facedesk* why do you do girly manga style?
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- Purple chu - 03/27/2011
- so good!
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- sarouna1 - 06/24/2010
- awesome and amazing!! i like it !!!!
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- Skye_Fuller - 06/13/2010
- hehe great
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- darcprinces - 05/14/2010
- thats amazing!!!!5 stars for you and if i could 1,000,000 stars!!
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