reborn

• Artist: stargirl10193
• Description: I write a lot of vampire poetry.this is one of my shorter ones.
• Date: 12/25/2008
• Tags: reborn

i see a pale being...

i am sprawling
into a dark iridescent mass of watery abyss
falling into the sinister nothingness
sinking gradually to a cold bottom
the emptiness
opening its arms in an eerie embrace
i open my eyes;
who am i?

Comments

[Blue_Converses]

Hi, I normally dont enjoy poetry but i loved this poem.

[stargirl10193]

I appreciate all advise on how to better my writting. Thanks for commenting.

[Deceased Poet]

I love how you describe falling into the abyss in your peom. This poem is very well written. But may I suggest, after your first verse, "I am sprawling", I think maybe "Spiriling" would be a better word for it. Just a friendly suggestion. 5. smile

[stargirl10193]

lol thanks ^_^

[pudgy_penguins_rock]

that was really good! i;m not not just saying that because im your frind.. smile even if it is about vampires.