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Ever have those days, when you look at someone, and you're so pissed at them for being there? And you know they're going to say something dumb when they open their mouth. But then they're nice about it, in a dumb way. And you're getting more pissed because they're not saying dumb s**t but tiptoeing closer and closer to it, and they're giggling while they're talking so it pisses you off even more, even though they're completely nonchalant about it?

Yeah, doesn't sound very rational. But that's how I feel. I'm also pissed about the usual things. Being unsuccessful, etc. I'm looking for a fight. I mean really. I want a fight. I need to win. and I don't mean the marginal wins I get, or technical ones, but I want to clearly and exactly win. I want to beat the s**t out of someone. I want to suceed at some sort of competition. I'm tired of mediocrity. Mediocrity does NOT ******** CUT IT. I'm tired of being "honorable mention" or just "good." It's so sickening!! I want to just straight up kill someone in the most gruesome ways soon so people can look at me in utter horror, and at least I'll be recognized as one of the most ******** up executioners.

Speaking of mental disorders, my mother gave me one of her zanex's. She recommended taking half of it, but I took it all. Apparently it knocks most people off their feet and relaxes her. Didn't do s**t for me. Absolutely nothing. Does that tell you something?

I also took a psychology test her shrink told her to take. Apparently she and I have the same problem, but I have it more so. Glee, does that mean I need therapy too? Only way you can get me into that shrink's office is strapped to a gurney and muzzle.

My best friend's mother a devoted Christian. now usually I'd never really want to demolish someone's belief, but I was imagining (in my current state of mind) how I would. With the amazing internet, I'd find the most ******** up videos and pictures, show them all to her, and tell her "Look me straight in the eye, and tell me there's a God now..." She'd come up with some lame excuse, but wouldn't be able to do it. I can already tell.