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Seriously, I'm in such a bad ******** mood right now. I want to rip my hair out, total my whole ******** room and jump out my window.

Nothing has gone right today.

Art wants to take away my goddamned computer because apparently, I've made like 14 calls to ******** NEW JERSEY. I don't ******** know anyone in New Jersey, and then he says that all my IMing is costing him money. Bull, ********, s**t. I hope that fat ******** has one too many donuts or something and gives himself a heart attack. I'm sick of his bullshit.

Robin isn't online, and right now she's the only one I want to talk to... She said she'd be online tonight, even though she was gonna be at a friends... Now she's not online, and I don't like it. You know... if she's gonna spend the night at some guy friend's house, she can at least like, make an effort to get ahold of me so that I can talk to her, even for just a minute.

******** this ******** day. I went for a walk and that didn't even make me feel any better. Why can't she just get online so I can talk to her...?

I seriously just want to put my ******** forehead through the ******** drywall in my room. I don't give a flying ********. I cost Art SO MUCH ******** MONEY, I might as well cost him a little more and really earn his pissy attitude, right?

I can't make this any more clear. Its NOT my goddamned fault that I don't have a ******** job. I've ******** tried to get a job since I quit Movie Gallery and no one will hire me. No one will even ******** call me back, and then when I call them to see if there is anykind of update, they've either lost my application, or they're "not hiring right now."

I ******** went everywhere, filled out applications with a smile on my face, said I was willing to work any hours they gave me, and showed a lot of interest, and no one ******** cares. And now my parents think I'm just a ******** bum and won't get a job...

Well I guess I'm a goddamned, ******** bum. They say it ******** enough, must be true by now... About the only person who thinks I even give a s**t is Robin, but no, she's out with some guy friend...

I try to deal with it. I try to just smile and say "Have a good time," but I'm sorry. I'm ******** jealous. I don't mind her hanging out. I don't want her spending the ******** night there... At least not before I actually see her. Then I'll have closure. I'll have her in my arms and I'll know that all of this isn't just some ******** stupid internet pipe dream...

What the ******** ever. ******** the lot of you. I'll manage this s**t all on my ******** own. I've done it for years now, why bother changing that? It seems to work well enough, so to hell with all of you...