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So once more I've dissapeared and come back, I kind of feel like merlin, Gandalf for the Lord of the rings folks, or Allanon for the Shanara people. Anyway, it's ******** nuts how when one swallows what they see as the impossible and go threw it anyway. Story of my life to the people that know me. Anyway, I was able to make up with two of the people that I thought were going to be, much to my dismay, painful and distant memories, but here I stand, friends with both of them once more. What can one say except for the advice that even if all seems lost and you feel there's no way out, go agianst the logic of the world, defy the status quo. I am so much better off now than I ever was not even 2 hours ago. It's funny how life is like that. I feel still rough around the edges, but a whole lot better, kind of like a toy that has been repaired, I wont be what I once was, but now that I am properly repaired, the spots that I was boken at have been strenghtend beyond what they were before. And even if I am to be broken agian, even in the same spot, I believe that as long as I have the poeple that I treasure around still things will be ok. Pain between two people needs to be voiced, Simply because there are no "what if's" and things can painfully, or in my case soothingly, move on, and become things that can be beautiful friendships, and lasting bonds for the rest of the time I am here on this planet, or maybe not from what the people seem to predict of the worlds future. Who knows what awaits us beyond the horizon. I don't, and those that seem to, or claim to, can only be vague, for fear or being found out, or for the gift given to them is simply put as a warning, not a knowing. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I made it out of the turmoil, I'm still covered in wounds and bloody beyond belief, but now it is over and I can heal, for the process is already a-foot. But the other reason is that if anyone else is in such an unfathomable spot as I was. I want them to know that even though all doors seem to be locked. They may just be jammed, and to try them anyway, I thought this day that I was going to smash my head into a brick wall like my logic and fear told me, but instead I broke threw what seemed to be a castle of "Go the ******** away, and out of my sight." But was really fear of their own, and pain for the past. Don't give up as cheesey as it sounds, and maybe it's because this is some kind of flux in the universe, someone was shining down onto me after a lack of sunshine for a while, or simply my lucky nature woke up and said "Oh s**t I dozed off." Either way I'm thankful, and thank you to all those who I whined, bitched, pissed, and moaned to. And thank you to the two ladies that I refer to. If you're courious, talk to me personaly, I feel internets are far to impersonal for it or give me a call. Either way, battered and bruised, I feel like things are looking up. I should be on more often, or not, but I'm feeling more toward the first of the two. anyway I have to be of to the work world. See ya!
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