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First, another rant. This one is slightly old, but not as old as people would believe. A lot of people have heard this story, so I will be adding my own spin ( heh... spin.. more like slaughtering ) to that person and or persons.

READY

SET

*picks up some sharp things*

and START!

Allow me to introduce to you the one woman who every time I hear her name, I actually twitch, and feel my inner self screaming out 'Where'd I put that ******** gun!?!'

Clare *STAB* Wanielista *STAB STAB STAB*

OK! time to explain!

Clare can be broken down into three simple words: CRAZY a** b***h! Oh oh, sorry.. sometimes I get a little mad when a paranoid, schizophrenic, manic depressive, MPD PSYCHO gets mentioned.

Dove- The 13 year old demoness who has a dove tattooed on her forehead and happens to be /one/ of the personalities she occasionally drops into. She somehow believes that it is her sole purpose to stop those that care for her to get anywhere close to her for the sole reason of 'the nasty' ( yes, sex. you know, copulation? TEH p***s IN TEH v****a! ) Anyway, NEXT.

Arcadia- Arcadia is the angel. This angel was once married to that of fate, fate which happened to be destined to fall in love with a descendant of the angel Matthias (who she thought /I/ was... what a load of bullshit). Well, Arcadia hated Dove and Dove hated everything, including small puppies, when small puppies are obviously cute ( but satanic ). Kitties too, I hated Dove for that because kitties are TEH AWSUM.

Finally, there was Clare. Middle grounds, nice, sweet, and totally unstable. Like, ******** glass. You say one thing wrong, BOOM, shatters like ******** nothing. Not even pretty stained glass.. just sugar cane stunt glass. Look! a strong breeze! lets watch clare snap!

*stares... she snaps, goes berserk, then afterwards, promptly bathes in their blood and masterbates with their intestines*

AND SHE IS THAT CRAZY.

Now, here's the story I get to do!

Condensed Version: I dated her, then broke up.

Long Version: *takes a breath*

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I first met her on a MUD (Multi-User Dungeon) which is an entirely text-based video game for nerds and other nerds to meet up. Seriously, it's like DnD, but horribly worse and with NO pictures.

'I attack you with my +9 slaying sword!' -- 'Oh yeah? I defend with my +32 Soul-sucking sword! you lose!' And we promptly fight that for a good 30 minutes.

Yay Dorkdom... ******** utopia, I swear. Dice for Everyone. Except You Clare, you're a whore. Roll a 'You're a b***h' or higher to have someone care about you.

Anyway, we hit it off.. I find out she lives nowhere near me and promptly fall madly in love with her for a reason I can't remember. I think it's because she was hot to me, I don't remember. I always have had a thing for accents.

I MEET DOVE! How? RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A ******** CONVERSATION SHE SAYS 'What would you trade for your soul?' and I just kind of ....stare at the phone. Yes, literally stare at it, as if it just grew pubic hair.

'What...?'
'What would you trade for your soul?'
'Uuumm... Clare...?'
'Oh, she's not here right now...'
'Ahh.. then who is...?'
......long pause....
'.....Matt...? are you there? you went quiet...'
'Who is this?'
'This is Clare, Matt..'

YAY! it's officially 'WTF' time for matt at this point! I start asking her about it, she denies everything. Ok, so things go on. This continues happening, finally she outright says, for some god awful reason, that there is a war happening in her body between good and evil. I said she needs to just get laid and that she should come visit, she laughs, I laugh, she thinks I'm serious, I have to talk her out of hysterics.

GLASS WINDOW! I swear! You can see right in and right out and the only thing you see on the other side is nothing. She is hopeless, lifeless and downright stupid as sin. Speaking of sin, is it wrong if you're right in the middle of sex, they switch personalities and start screaming 'There's a POLE IN MY NONO PLACE!'

.... never happened though, she lived in Misery.

Anyway, relationship gets serious... I get her a nice a** ring. I mean, ******** 4 stars here people. I'm old fashioned, I get a promise ring, engagement ring, THEN wedding ring. EACH doubling the price. so it's 500 first, 1000 second, 2k last.

So this ring was awesome, I mean, wow.. white gold two rows wrapping around and ending in two upside down hearts of sapphire and amethyst, a little offset and connected by a row of diamonds.

The /day/ before I give her the ring, she calls up, hysteric and crying, rambling blah blah blah blah blah blah...

She is really in hysterics, I mean, holy s**t. I've seen people on acid trip less. She's goin off screaming about spirits, and her best friend leaving her which was an apple blossom tree spirit... it's just really odd in general, and she blubbers, whines, bitches moans, then stops, ABRUPTLY in her conversation with mostly herself to say.

'I'm killing myself today and I want you to join.'


DING! Someone's lost it!

Well, I was .. what was it.... 16? 17 at the time? This was my first experience with love ( Ha.. love.. more like blind obsession mixed with stalker qualities tied off with reciprocating emotions in the same bizarre a** way )

Ok, so this is what happens.

First of all, a Disclaimer:

I DID NOT DIE NOR DID I HURT MYSELF. I AM NO SUICIDAL. THIS HAPPENED OVER 4 YEARS AGO NOW.

So, I go into me da's room, get his revolver, put in a bullet and proceed to do the dumbest thing possible a man at that age, or any age can do.

*SPIN*

.......click.

Ok, one, you can kind of imagine if your 'soul mate' is about to kill herself. Yet, me being the weird a** that I was, thinking I had lost her the day before the ring was going to be given.

*SPIN*

.......click.

Two.

*SPIN*

.......click.

Three.

Then she got mad, saying I couldn't do anything right and that I was a coward and proceeded to hang up the phone. Needless to say, I did not send her the ring, got my money back, dumped her on new years and lived happily, and disgruntledly ever after.

Am I ok?

Yes.

Is this something which probably shouldn't be told?

Yes.

If /ANY/ Of you send me a PM with a 'OMG, I'm so teh sorrie!' I will punch you in your face, even if you live in ******** nowhere. I will hunt you down and punch you in it.

GOOD NEWS!!!

I'm writing a story ^_^

Imagination's Journey