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what exactly is on my mind at the moment. Why I'm not all to happy lately.

Lately, I feel like crap, because I'm not sure exactly what I'm thinking anymore. It's just a huge, jumbled mass of confusion bouncing around in my head, slowly driving me insane.

What I believe I'm thinking lately, though, is that my best friend may not want me around anymore. For the last few weeks, I've been hanging out with her less and less, because I felt she ignored me everytime that she was with me and one of her other friends. I figured I wouldn't hang out with the two of them together anymore, and since then, I haven't gotten many chances to be with my best friend, since she's pretty much always around her other friend. Since then, we haven't really talked, since she and I don't usually hang out after school.

There's that, and the fact that almost every time we make plans to hang out together, she has to cancel them, to do something else, but from what I see, I'm the only friend she's done that to. I've told her over and over that if she ever wants to hang out, she can call me, or walk the two blocks to my house, and I'd gladly drop everything I have to do, just to have the chance to actually hang out with her. She never does, though.

Am I right by thinking that she doesn't want me around, that she only keeps me around as a last resort, or am I just overthinking?

I'm not sure anymore. I've been feeling alone so often lately, that it drives me to all these depressing thoughts, and I tell myself that I don't deserve to be around any of my friends. I can't help it, it's something that always happens when I feel like I'm alone, that there's nobody there for me.