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I had another dream I died in. Go figure.

This time, I was the one who died in the dream, instead of me posessing someone else's body and dying. I couldn't sleep well last night because of it.

In the dream, some building, I don't know what building, all I remember was that it was like three stories, and it was on fire. And, of course, I thought that Jessica, Alissa, Eric, Deanna, Jacob, and so many of my other close friends were trapped inside of it, so I ran inside to help them. I searched the first story of the building thouroughly, and nobody was there, so I ran up the stairs to the second story somehow. Right when I got to the second story, I looked out the window, and saw everyone I was looking for walking away from the building, not even looking around to see if I was there. Then the third story crumbled from the flames and crashed down on me, and I died.

I woke up shortly after that, and each time afterward that I tried fallin asleep, I had that dream again.

From what I can tell from it, the dream told me that though I do everything I can to help a friend (or group of friends) most of the time, it seems they wouldn't be there for me when I was going through hard times. To support this, I remembered my last big problem, where I wanted to ask my ex back out, and found out she had a boyfriend already. That was the fifth time in a row that something like that's happened to me, and I started to think about suicide (though it was only for a short while that I thought of that.) The only two close friends of mine that wound up being there for me were Eric, and my ex herself. But Eric wound up playin the computer the whole day, and my ex made me feel worse when she apologized, because it wasn't her fault I missed my chance. Everyone else didn't find out until a week or two later, and they didn't really do anything to help, either.

I don't know what to think anymore... I've been struggling all day, trying to figure out what it meant, and what I should do about it. Nothing seems to make sense anymore, I don't know what to do, who to talk to, who to trust.



I just don't know anymore.