This is going to be one hell of a task. I'm sitting here on the phone....begging for a job, and so far no one wants to hire me. I hate my life...literally I hate it. I haven't eaten for about 4-5 days now...and I don't plan to right now. The last thing on my mind is food....sorry. I keep looking...and looking for an apartment, but no use. I can't get a god damn loan because i'm 17! This SUCKS!!!! I have no place to stay after the 11-12 of October.....why you may ask?? Because 1) Rachel will be in jail for a long time...and 2) Jaymee plans to get Rach out with 500$ and leave to Minnesota asap! Think i'm joking? There are at least 28 boxes packed now right here in front of me.....the question? What th HELL am I going to do!? I don't have a car....so no I can't sleep in it until I DO find a place to stay....I'm so at a loss right now. Just last night I was so confused and lost I really DID think about hanging myself...and unfortunately I am still thinking about it. I hope I quit thinking and one day just DO IT. I'm a ******** coward...I keep thinking all the time...but I never do anything about it. *sighs*
There is no way i can live my life much longer.....because some really ******** up events have taken place and its practically all my fault. I'm ready to fall over and die right now. I'm listening to Nightwish, and playing my gameboy.....because for some reason ever since I moved over there I have HAD to have 20 or more things on my mind at once....@_@ It's tearing me apart. I'm at a loss at what to do.....where to get the money....where to live....how long to live actually. You know what, I bet I to ALL of you I won't live past my 18th b-day....you want to know why? Because I think for my birthday i'll buy a gun and just shoot myself in the mouth with it. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TERRI! *laughs sardonically* I'm twisted...and I don't care. Well...i'm crying right now...and i'm ALONE in a house...so imagine the possibilities that are running through my head k? And you know the best part? NO ONE WILL CARE WHEN I AM GONE!!!!! *laughs out of her chair* I'm so happy, I don't WANT to be missed! I want to just die right now. I want to go to store today, and run into a burglary and get shot in the process! THATS WHAT I WANT! And none of you can change my ******** mind! You guys would be miserable if you had to deal with all this on your shoulders like i'm doing now....you'd be saying "She's right, might as well jump off a cliff right now" Believe me, when I go to the lake today....i'm going to think REALLY hard before jumping off that big a** hill that lies above the lake. *sighs* Well....without any food i'm gonna passout now. So night night ^^. sweatdrop
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"I'll never forgive you...if you stop being a wimp!"
-Wolfram
-Wolfram
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Draconis Fafnir Malfoy
Community Member |
Been there done that, have the t-shirt...