"I bring you the stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched and dishonored from pirate-raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa and the Philippines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking glass." - A salutation-speech from the Nineteenth Century to the Twentieth, taken down in short-hand by Mark Twain December 31, 1900.
"As Christ died to make men holy, let men die to make us rich-" Battle Hymn of the Republic (Brought Down to Date)
"....that all war must be just that - the killing of strangers against whom you feel no personal animosity; strangers whom, in other circumstances, you would help if you found them in trouble, and who would help you if you needed it." - A Campaign That Failed
"...not that these barbarians had done him any harm, but because he wanted their land, and desired to confer the blessings of civilization on their widows and orphans." - The Chronicle of Young Satan
"...Satan said, "sometimes to get more land, sometimes to crush a weak nation, but never a war started by the aggressor for any clean purpose- there is no such war in the history of your race." - Chronicles of Young Satan
"Two centuries from now it will be recognized that all competent killers are Christian; then the pagan world will go to school to the Christian: not to acquire his religion, but his guns." - Chronicles of Young Satan
"The first man was a hypocrite and a coward, qualities which have not yet failed in his line..." - Chronicles
"I believe I should really see the end of what is really the grotesquest of all swindles ever invented by man - monarchy." Letter to Sylvester Baxtor
"We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all monarchs are usurpers, and descendants of usurpers; for the reason that no throne was ever set up in this worlds by will, freely exercised, of the only body possessing the legitimate right to set it up- the numerical mass of the nation" - Letter to Sylvester Baxtor
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