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Yes, it's something I do all the time, careful is my way, it's my personality, it's my life.

I've got to catch you up first before I dive into the subject.


I started texting subject #1 again.
Ok maybe I already covered that. Anyways.

She's still in my life regardless of how remotely, and until she's out I'm going to have a hard time liking anyone but her. In my mind she'd make the perfect companion for me.

Bout a week ago I teased her a little, and to my shock I got an emotional response. Calm collected confident as she appears, I got a reaction. She told me how she gets nervous easy over some things.
Now simple as this sounds, this is a noticeable breakthrough. Seems to be a small bridge over the river. I got her to identify her server and toons soon afterwards and rolled a healer on her server.
She hasn't replied to a text or logged on since then.
Aw well, wait one more week and try again.


On the subject #2 front, things have vastly progressed at work.
I know she's interested in me. I got trained on servery with her. See her pretty often because we're both the ace employees.
I wonder if Georgia has even been paying attention to the situation? I don't think or know if she'd intervene in a positive or negative way at all.
In fact, it might be a blessing if she said "No relationships in dietary", but you'll know why I think that later.

Either way, all of dietary's pushing me towards her right now.
Honestly, it's an uncomfortable situation.

I like having lots of time to make up my mind, although females like her are quick to switch interests. Time and coworkers are a pressure for me to hook up with her.
Actually I don't know what She's actually like yet, she's hiding her true self from me, I know it. She doesn't have a problem with talking with everyone in the workplace about me, but she shuts up pretty quickly in my presence. It's like she's scared. Guess it's just the INTJ shell.

I'm out of sequence here, let me draw the timeline here.

She trained me on servery.
time passed
I gave her my number, in an unintentionally public setting.
time passed
I invited her to the park for the 4th celebration yesterday. (She showed up after it ended in a minor show of incompetence, than we proceeded to chat for an hour and a half within the company of my best friend)
I show up to work today, everyone thinks we went on a sort of date before they even walked through the door. She doesn't talk to me much.


Anyways, how am I taking all this, huh.

Well, let me talk about her for a bit, and why I'm not diving in.
(insert title)

She's relatively attractive. #1 is a 9. #2 is approximately a 7. Someone I could get in to if I didn't feel I had a chance with #1. Obvious dilemma.

But that's just looks, looks are nice but I know, and do feel that they aren't everything.

#2 has some notable flaws that are throwing dozens of caution signs in my head.

-She smokes. I guess I can get over that.
-She likes tattoos, has one plans on more. I can get over the one, but I don't want her marked up like that. Besides for the caution flag, what she wants would knock her down to a 6. Taking her out of my desirable range.
-She tells everyone in the facility misinterpreted updates about our relationship, but refuses to show her excitement towards me (see 4th of July thing, she failed to mention my friend was there). If she's excited, great. But she's breaching my privacy and not even paying me with her attention for it.
-Her and her friends participate in illegal substance usage. Again, something I could overlook alone, but that with the smoking and tattoos is a shitton of warnings to ignore.
-She's hiding herself from me. Her feelings, her personality. It ticks me off. I can't like her if I don't know who she is, but I guess I've got to open up first(going back to the INTJ dilemma, today my mind was in the hardest shell I've seen in years).

I don't know her enough. She participates in many cautionary activities. She's hiding something. She's spreading rumors.

Warning signs everywhere, I hate the drama, I hate the danger, I hate the shadiness.
With all this mess I'm having a real time liking her.

I'm attracted to her, I just don't really like her right now. It's bothersome.



I don't have time to wait this one out though.
The facility is pushing. The time is ticking.
Either I go out with her now, or loose my chance and look like a d**k.
And probably suffer reasonable wiplash from her and company.

I think I'm going to dive into this one. Worst case I can't put up with her, and I break it off while I'm at school.

No, that's not the worst case.


You see, aside from the looks, the flaws, I already know how the relationship could end.
1- we spend are lives together (probably not happily), very unlikely.
2- we break up.

Breaking up carries several problems.
We work in the same facility. That won't be able to last.


If I go into this relationship I believe I will fall in love with her.

And it'll take me years to fall out of it.


There's even more logical barriers than this.
Our lifestyle is different.
I spend most my life across the state.
I don't trust people like her to stay committed. Not with the company she keeps, it's dangerous ground.


Anyways, I think I'll call it a night. Maybe something will develop tomorrow on my day off.