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I'm feeling my coworkers get closer to me every day.

I think I'm starting to get it.

I'll continue working on my methods. It's taken over a year for me to get my method right, but I think all my tuning is starting to pay off.

I still can't say that I'm exactly pleased with my coworkers taking the role of friends in my life. I felt that I should be capable of keeping my work and social life separate, and it'd seem kind of lame for them to mix. I think this would hold true in most workplaces, but HHNH dietary is so much better than most places. We take care of each other. To the rest of the facility, we come across as a family.


I've got to keep messaging her. I can't keep on it all the time because it's pretty obvious that she doesn't care to respond to me often. If I come on too strong it will definitely look like I'm up to something, and she'll become more cautious. I don't want to make a reunion any more challenging than it already is. I need to ease my way back into her life before engaging my "plan". Things should come along. I also need to get together with our common friend some time soon, that could make the situation more plausible. I have hope for this situation. Not high ones, but I think I can pull it off.

The hardest part will be what I do if I'm successful.
Logically, this is a bad idea, this shouldn't happen, it's very impractical. But for once I'm using a different logic, and saying that this could be an opportunity to get my bloody human feelings to stop harassing me. I think this shouldn't happen, I feel it should happen, but it does make a little sense to give it a shot, so I shall. I don't know how the hell I can carry the relationship, even if I do succeed in starting it. I'll be spontaneous for once and figure that out later.
Naw, I'll actually probably be up all night trying to figure that out now that it crossed my mind.

Damnit, I've got work tomorrow morning, I need my sleep.

Anyways, aside from subject #1 on my list I seem to have discovered a subject #2 at my workplace. She's cuter every day I see her. I'm worried that my mind might take a wrong turn on this one, but I'm not in a good position right now at all. I don't think I'd mind a relationship with her, but there'd be the same continuity hurdles as with subject #1, along with some other unidentifiable ones. For example, I have a feeling she's about 22. She obviously doesn't know how old I am, most people over guess by several years. I don't know her lifestyle, her future plans, or even what she's doing right now. I'm not in a place to get any 1-1 time with her, which means that there's very little means to secure her interest in me. Right now I fear that if I continue what I'm doing she'll loose interest, and I will gain interest. I can probably make a relationship if I engage now, but I don't want to because she's not preferential. Subject #1 is far more appealing to me right now. It's a case of cute vs kawaii.