"Jim Halpert: Last night on "Trading Spouses," there's... did you see it?
Pam Beesley: No, I have a life.
Jim Halpert: Interesting, what's that like?
Pam Beesley: You should try it some time.
Jim Halpert: Wow. But then who would watch my TV?"
"I’m not ashamed to admit that this made me giggle like a schoolgirl who just found the p***s pictures in her biology textbook."
-Max Barry
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
-Stephen Bishop
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
-Winston Churchill (about Clement Atlee)
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-Irvin S. Cobb
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
-Samuel Johnson
"He had delusions of adequacy."
-Walter Kerr
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-Groucho Marx
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
-Thomas Brackett Reed
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-Forrest Tucker
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-Mae West
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-Billy Wilder
"Do you know how many of my pupils think 'great' is spelled with a number?"
- from Nationstates
"Rarely is the question asked- is our children learning?"
-George Bush
"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell."
-Gen. John Sheridan, 1855
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