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The loveless Cynic has feelings too.
The Forgotten Colony: 1. Preparation
Guns firing and bombs exploding could be heard from all around as a war waged on. Damir waited with a smirk on his face, watching the destruction below, from the Armoured Aerial Carrier Ship sent to deploy him and other troops at the battlefield. He was ready to lead his soldiers to victory.

The cracks and sizzling of the alloy of the AACS quickly being eaten away by the plasma from enemy rifles was soon heard. Damir remained calm and stood up to man one of the guns on his ship.

After manning a rail gun turret on his ship, Damir spotted an enemy turret that was firing at them. He zoomed the scope in on the turret and quickly noticed its power supply unit. He centered it in his sight, squeezed the trigger of his weapon, and fired at it, making a large explosion that resounded across the area. He grinned at the destruction and waited for his gun to cool. He looked around for more enemy units through his scope but before he was able to find another, a sniper fired at him and hit him in the neck. He clutched at his throat and choked as a stream of red flowed down his hands and dripped onto his chest. His vision blurred and soon began to darken as he fell onto his back, unable to move.

Damir quickly sat up in his bed, breathing hard and sweating profusely. It was a dream… He thought to himself. He knew that war was imminent as the resources on his colony’s location were being quickly exhausted and that combined with the fact that he hadn’t eaten very well the night before made him have a nightmare about it.

“Sir, are you alright?” Asked a female voice coming from somewhere in the room. It was his personal AIC or Artificially Intelligent Computer. AICs were, essentially, helpers made to help make the colonists’ everyday lives more convenient. Some of them, like Damir’s, had more capabilities than the regular unit, to better suit his needs as a commander of his colony’s army. Not to mention, it was more human than most units were, due to the way Damir treated her.

“Yes, I’m fine, Mira. It was only a nightmare.” Damir replied to her. “Do you have any messages for me?” He asked her as he moved to the edge of his bed.

“One new message, sir. Would you like me to read it for you?” Mira asked.

“Summarize it for me, please.” Damir replied then stood up from his bed. He walked over to his dresser, took out his uniform, and began to put it on.

“The message is from Senator White and it is high priority. There have been numerous attacks on the senate building as well as on the homes of some of the senators. Defense turrets have been constructed around the senate building as a precaution but there are some attacks that still get through. White suspects a resistance group is behind the attacks and she wants you to collect any information you can on the group called ‘The Black Underground’. They are a highly dangerous group of terrorists and you are urged to be cautious when dealing with them. She wants you to meet her in the senate building for the details.”

Damir growled and then began to take his uniform off. “I suppose I’ll need something that fits in better than this.” He said, mostly to himself. “What does White think I am, some secret agent?” He commented, again mostly to himself.

“I’m sure you will do fine, sir.” Mira commented.

“I know I will do fine, that’s not the point. It’s the whole concept of the matter. My potential is being wasted on frivolous gangs.” He replied as he dressed himself in a more casual attire.

“But sir, White said they are attacking the senate. It doesn’t sound like a mere gang.” Mira replied to his comment.

“Bah. White over exaggerates most of the time. Those ‘attacks’ she was talking about are probably activist graffiti.” He responded. He was now completely dressed and he walked over to a large case on the wall. It was clear and had numerous firearms inside. Damir placed his palm on the case where the glass looked foggy compared to the rest. After a quick scan, the glass seemed to just fade away. He took out a discrete pistol that was no larger than his hand. “I will probably be needing this.” He took a few silverish orbs out of the case as well. He pocketed all but one and took the one in his hand and touched it against the gun in his other hand. As soon as the orb touched the metal, it seemed to dissolve into the gun.

“Well, I wish you luck.” Mira said to him. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

As soon as Damir walked away, the weapon case re-closed itself. He walked over to what looked like a plain wall. “Yes. Access armour storage.” He replied.

“Voice verified. Access granted.” Mira said in an automated tone.

The wall faded away in the same fashion as the glass did and Damir walked into the storage area. He took what seemed to be a normal black trench coat off of a hanger and put it on. It was in fact, one of the best types of armour he had. It was sewn with a special type of extremely strong alloy and could withstand plasma blasts, rail gun blasts, fire, almost anything. Damir put his pistol in a pocket inside of the coat and then walked out of the storage. It too closed immediately after he walked away from it. “One more thing, Mira.”

“Yes?” She asked.

“Well, I’m going to need to change my appearance and voice seeing how most people know of me and I wouldn’t get anywhere with this organization if I’m a military commander. Can you do that for me?” He asked her.

“Of course I can. What would you like to look like?” Mira brought up a window on the computer screen that displayed various hairstyles as well as facial configurations.

“Hm.” Damir looked at the screen. “How about this one?” He said as he touched and option on the screen. As soon as his finger connected with the glass of the screen, his hair was changed from his usual short, jet-black hair to messy brunette hair.

“Looks like a hairstyle of someone who is looking for some trouble. Good choice.” Mira commented and laughed a bit. The computer laughed. “Now, how about a facial reconfiguration? You won’t feel a thing, don’t worry.”

“I suppose it would be more convincing.” He said and looked at the screen again. He poked an image on the display and as soon as he did, his face immediately reflected the image. “How do I look?”

“Like a Ragamuffin. She said, laughing again.

“The hell is a Ragamuffin?” He asked, clueless to the term.

“It’s some old-world term I saw once. It refers to a disreputable person.” She paused. “Now how about a voice change?” She asked him.

“Alright, just lower the pitch and make me sound more… Notorious.” He replied and poked the screen. “Well – Whoa, I sound strange. Good thing, I guess.” He paused. “Notify Senator White of my changes so that she doesn’t sick security on me when I arrive.”

“Yes sir, I will contact her immediately. Good luck on your mission, sir.”

“You know I don’t believe in luck.” Damir replied and then walked toward the door. “Goodbye Mira, I will see you later.” He walked straight through what seemed to be a solid metal door, and was.

He looked up into the sky at the grey clouds and then down at the barren, dry landscape surrounding his colony. When he was a mere child, he read about how the Earth was once full of life. There was green all around and organisms called plants and trees. That was hundreds of years ago though. Long wars and exploitation of the land they lived on caused this. Earth was a barren wasteland barely suitable for humans now and a hundred years from now, mankind would have to voyage into the final frontier in hopes of locating a new home. Earth’s atmosphere was hardly livable now and every newborn child had to be altered with technology that would allow it to properly use the elements left in the air. There was hardly any oxygen left on this planet any longer.

Damir walked up to a garage type building connected to his housing structure and placed his hand on a panel next to the door. It quickly scanned his hand and instantly the door faded away. He walked into the structure and over to vehicle that looked like an extremely advanced motorcycle. He hopped onto it and gripped what looked like a steering wheel with no top and bottom part. “Grip confirmed.” An automated voice coming from the cycle stated. The vehicle began to hover slightly above the ground and Damir quickly sped out of the garage on it and high into the air. He was on his way to the senate building.

[ Comments: Yes, I know I said I'd probably have it around Friday, but I decided to end this chapter sooner than I had originally intended. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it.

Also, I would appreciate it if any readers would leave a comment and possibly advice to make future chapters better. Since this is my first time writing something like this, I need all the advice and tips I can get. ]






User Comments: [2] [add]
The wandering mind...
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Tue Aug 21, 2007 @ 07:52pm
Oooooh, exciting! Hehe.
Hmm... you want advice, I am always iffy giving it, but hmm... you walk through everything really well, but try mixing it up a little with a little more description. Omnipotent narration is kind blah sometimes, not you at all, just the way it goes. But what I think you just need is a few more adjectives thrown in. Especially being the first part, a lot of description is needed. You want to keep action going yes, but you want the reader to have a good image of what everyone looks like, maybe an idea of how they go together. Sometimes it's good to hint at what sort of relationship they have. Like you have Mira being more human than the other AICs, so what sort of back and forth does she have with Damir? Stuff like that.

Ahh... hope that wasn't too much. x___x Sorry. I still really liked it, I just hate when people ask for advice and no one gives it. <3333


commentCommented on: Tue Aug 21, 2007 @ 08:42pm
Thank you very much, Wandering. That helps a lot.

I do need to work on describing things better... I have never really been very good at that and I need to improve.

I will keep your advice in mind when I start on chapter 2 and I may revise this chapter some time.



[Cynic]
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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